Page 110 of Still Bruised
“It’s done. I told him we’re even now and I’ve paid my debt. I left and haven’t heard a peep since, but he isn’t the most communicative person.” Foster scoffed. “And his walls are miles thick.”
“Sounds impossible,” Cary murmured. “Was the sex good, at least?”
“It was… amazing. Even at first when he was borderline hostile,” Foster said. “Who the fuck am I lying to? The hostility kind of did things for me.”
“Some of the best sex I’ve ever had was angry sex,” Cary said with a grin.
“He was super bossy and dominant at first. I liked it. But I also liked it when it wasn’t that.” Foster drew in a deep breath. “He was always in control, pretty much every time we were together, but he… he… relaxed after a while. I know he felt what I felt, too. Iknowit.”
“Are you sure you didn’t read more into it?”
Foster frowned. “No.”
“You just got out of a committed long-term relationship. Didn’t you once tell me that you married Ash because it was easier than fighting? Maybe Jude started feeling easy, too. He came to you.Demanded your time. You simply agreed and went with it. Just like Ash.”
Foster dragged his gaze away, hating the parallels drawn.
“Now there’s this hot guy fucking your brains out on the regular and sleeping beside you every night. Not just some hot guy, but thefirst oneyou fucked after your divorce. The first guy you ever kissed, in fact. A guy you’d had a thing for in high school. I could see getting things confused and assuming you had feelings for him. Sex isnotlove.” Cary gently knocked his knuckles against Foster’s.
Foster’s gaze met Cary’s.
“You’ve been closeted most of your life. That first guy you’re finally able to be fully free withisa big deal. And there are a lot of emotions tangled up there. I remember my first time after I’d come out. I’ll remember him for the rest of my life. Even though that relationship turned to shit, he still holds a place in my heart because of what he symbolized. Jude is that for you, too, and there’s nothing wrong with it. But be careful that you don’t make it into something it’s not.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Foster didn’t think that was the case, but he’d been wrong about a lot of things relationship-wise in his life. He’d thought he was finally in a place where that would change, but once again, things had gone south.
“Do you really want to tie yourself down so soon after the divorce? You said you wanted to explore and figure yourself out.”
Foster nodded. “I did say that.”
“You know what we should do?” Cary asked.
“What?”
“There’s this annual Halloween party tomorrow night down at the Paradise in Asbury Park. It’s a bit of a hike, but I went a couple of years ago and it was a wild,wildnight. Hell in Paradise, they call it. The club’s attached to a hotel and I already booked a couple of rooms in advance. I meant to ask if you weeks ago, before I left town, but I got a big lead and had to rush out the door. I know it’s last minute notice, but why don’t you come out with me? It’ll get your mind off him.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood to party by tomorrow night.”
“Come on. You can’t sit around and wallow. If it’s meant to be, you two will find a way back to one another. If it’s not, then you’re just that much closer to getting over him.”
All that sounded logical, but to Foster, it didn’tfeelright.
Serial monogamist, hmm?
“After all your history, be happy things went out with a whimper instead of a bang.” Cary leaned forward. “Get out, meet some new friends, and get laid. Stop pining for a guy who says he doesn’t want you.”
Foster lifted his bottle to his lips and sucked down a big gulp, mulling. “Do I have to dress up?”
“Of courseyou do,” Cary said. “It’s Gay Christmas.”
“So I’ve got a go scrounge up a costume? By tomorrow.That’sgoing to be fun.”
Cary smiled. “I might have an old one floating around that you could borrow. I’ll look when I get home and text you.” He tooka drink before his eyes widened. “Hey, do you still have your old football gear?”
“It might be out in the garage somewhere. Lord knows my mother won’t throw out anything of sentimental value.”
“You could wear that. Go as a football player. If it still fits, that is.”
“Or isn’t moth-eaten,” Foster said. “I can look tonight.”
