Page 107 of Fight or Flight
Slowly, I turn so I’m facing him. “And how, pray tell, have I been acting weird?”
“How about the mysterious fights you’ve been getting into? Don’t think I haven’t noticed the bruises and marks you think you’ve been hiding from me.”
“Me getting into fights isn’t anything new.” I turn back to face the rock wall. Not because I’m itching to climb or even searching for a new route. I just need to not look at my brother right now because he’ll see right through my bullshit.
There’s only one person on the planet I can’t lie to, and that’s Jax. The same as he can’t lie to me. But that doesn’t stop us from occasionally hiding shit from each other. Or at least trying to.
“No, but hiding that you’re getting into themisweird.”
“What do you want me to say?” I ask, my eyes fixed on the wall in front of me. “That I’m still getting used to the fact that you and Killer are always busy, and I get in trouble when I’m bored and left to my own devices?” I toss him a quick look over my shoulder. “Because news flash, asswipe, I’ve always been like this. So if you’re going to spend all of your time with Myles, then I have to find ways to keep myself entertained. And you know exactly how I do that, so none of this should be a surprise to anyone.”
“If that’s the truth, then that’s exactly what I want you to say.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
“Look at me.”
Slowly, I turn so I’m facing him, and instead of being met with the icy stare I’m expecting, Jax is looking at me like I’m a puzzle he’s trying to figure out.
“What?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything.
“What’s going on with you and Shane?”
“Nothing.”
He tilts his head to the side. “So he’s not the one you’ve been fighting with while you’re getting used to being left to your own devices?”
I don’t say anything, which is answer enough.
“And all those looks you’ve been giving him are just you fucking with him and have nothing to do with the fact that you’re hooking up?”
“You’ve been following me?” I ask sharply as more of that anger rises inside me.
“No.”
“Then how did you know we’ve hooked up?”
“Because you just told me.” He gives me a pointed look. “And falling for my bluff proves that this isn’t just you having some fun because you’re bored.”
I pin him with a glare. “So what if I have? You’ve never given a shit who I fuck around with. Why do you care so much now?”
“When was the last time you fucked around with the same person more than once?” he asks calmly.
I cross my arms. I know exactly where he’s going with this, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to make it easy for him.
“And when was the last time you actuallyenjoyedfucking around with someone?” he asks, a damn knowing smile tilting the corners of his lips.
I grind my teeth so hard my jaw cracks.
“That’s how I knew things were different with Myles,” he says, and the gentleness in both his tone and demeanor is enough to cut through my anger.
My brother and I aren’t the type to chit-chat about our feelings. Mostly because we don’t really have those, but also because there’s no point. Verbalizing things doesn’t change reality, and rehashing shit we’d rather not think about won’t help anyone in the short or long term.
But Jax isn’t just my twin brother; he’s the only person who understands how I’m wired. If he thinks this is important enough to tell me when I’m a half step away from losing my shit and making myself an only child, then I can put the effort into listening to him and actually hearing what he’s saying.
“I knew things were different with Myles because I didn’t have to wear my mask around him. I’ve never once had to pretend with him, and he’s the only person I’ve actually enjoyed being with. The only person I’ve ever craved.” He gives me a long, thoughtful look. “And something tells me you know exactly what I mean by that.”
I nod, just a quick tick of my chin. There’s no point lying to him. He already knows he’s right.
