Page 58 of Mistletoe, Mayhem & Mr. Grump
"What's Wren's biggest fear?" she asks.
"Pass," he tries.
"This isn't radio trivia. Answer the question," Delia insists.
Holden turns to me, and something soft crosses his face. "Losing the shop. But not just losing it—losing the last piece of her grandmother she can hold on to. The fear is that if the shop goes, Helena's memory goes with it."
The room falls silent. Even Giuseppe stops taking notes.
"That's... actually really insightful," I whisper, my throat suddenly tight.
"Eight points," Delia announces, but her voice is gentler. "Wren, same question. Holden's biggest fear?"
I study his face, remembering our conversation during the blizzard. "Becoming his father. Or maybe... that he already has."
Holden's hand tightens around mine. His expression shifts to something like wonder.
"Ten points," Delia says quietly. "Full marks."
"Why does she get ten and I get eight?" Holden protests, his competitive side showing.
"She didn't hesitate," Delia explains. "Hesitation suggests calculation. Natural responses score higher."
"So, you're penalizing me for thinking?" he asks incredulously.
"I'm penalizing you for overthinking. Love doesn't overthink," Delia says.
"Have you met Wren? She has spreadsheets about spreadsheets. That's literally overthinking squared," Holden points out.
"Hey!" I protest. "My spreadsheets are perfectly reasonable. I have a color-coded system!"
"You color-coded your anxieties," he reminds me. "That's not reasonable, that's recreational mathematics."
"Next slide!" Delia interrupts, though she's clearly fighting a smile. "The Christmas Gala Test."
A photo appears of last year's gala, with every single person in town circled and labeled like a crime scene diagram.
"Every person in this photo will be watching you," Delia explains. "They'll judge your dancing, your conversation, your eating habits?—"
"Our eating habits?" I squeak.
"Gerald Thompson specifically watches how couples share food. It's his metric for compatibility," she explains.
"That's creepy," Holden observes.
"That's Gerald," Teddy pipes up from his corner.
"The point is," Delia continues, "you need to be flawless. No hesitation, no confusion, no accidentally calling each other by the wrong names?—"
"That happened ONE TIME," Teddy protests.
"You called your wife 'Mom,' Teddy," June reminds him.
"She looks like my mom in certain lighting!" he defends.
"Moving on," Delia says firmly. "I've prepared a training regimen."
"A training regimen?" I ask weakly. "For being in a relationship?"
