Page 49 of Mistletoe, Mayhem & Mr. Grump
"Is that supposed to be us?" Holden asks, squinting at the blurry photo.
"That's either you two or an interpretive dance," Finn observes.
"Very passionate interpretive dance," Giuseppe adds with enthusiasm.
"Can we please stop saying passionate?" I beg.
"Would you prefer 'ardent'?" Delia asks from the podium. "Fervent? Amorous?"
"I'd prefer death," I mutter.
"That can be arranged," Delia says pleasantly. "Now then, shall we discuss the committee's concerns about your very public display of... enthusiasm?"
Holden leans over to whisper, "How long is this going to take?"
"The pruning presentation was two hours," I whisper back.
"For pruning?" he repeats, horrified.
"Welcome to Snowfall Creek," I say, patting his hand. "Where everything's a committee matter and privacy is just a suggestion."
The second slide appears: "Timeline of Corruption."
"Corruption seems like a strong word," Holden protests.
"Would you prefer 'Timeline of Moral Flexibility'?" Delia offers.
"How is that better?" I ask.
"It's more accurate," she says, clicking to the next slide.
It's a photo of us from Giuseppe's, kissing.
"That's private!" I protest, standing up.
"It's in a public restaurant," Delia counters calmly.
"With windows," June adds.
"Large windows," Giuseppe confirms proudly. "I clean them myself! Very transparent! Good for viewing!"
"This is insane," Holden mutters beside me.
"This is Tuesday," I correct, pulling him back down. "Wait until you see what happens on Thursdays."
"What happens on Thursdays?" he asks warily.
"Bingo night," everyone says together.
Holden looks at me. "I'm starting to understand why you have so many contingency plans."
"Just wait," I promise. "It gets worse."
The next slide appears: "Recommendations for Appropriate Public Behavior."
"Oh good," I mutter. "Instructions."
But as Delia launches into her presentation, complete with charts about acceptable PDA levels and a scatter plot of "passion versus propriety," I feel Holden's hand squeeze mine under the table. His shoulders shake slightly—he's trying not to laugh.
