Page 48 of Mistletoe, Mayhem & Mr. Grump
"Stage two already," Finn diagnoses solemnly. "By Christmas, you'll be wearing matching sweaters unironically."
"Never," Holden says firmly.
"I have two matching sweaters over here," I confess as I pull them out.
He looks at me in horror. "Why?"
"They were on sale. Buy one, get one free. I panicked," I explain.
"You panic-bought matching Christmas sweaters?" he asks incredulously.
"The reindeer had little bells!" I defend myself.
"The reindeer made you do it," June writes it down. "Sure."
"This is why I need committee approval to shop," I mutter.
"There's a shopping committee?" Holden asks.
"There's a committee for everything," everyone says simultaneously.
"That's creepy," he observes.
"That's Snowfall Creek," I correct.
Fifteen minutes later, we're dressed in weather-appropriate, correctly oriented clothing, trudging through the snow toward what I can only assume is my public shaming.
"It won't be that bad," Holden says, taking my gloved hand.
"Delia once made a PowerPoint about someone's incorrect pruning technique. It had thirty-one slides and a musical score," I inform him.
"For pruning?" he asks incredulously.
"She takes gardening seriously," I explain.
"What does she do with actual serious things?" he wonders.
"Nuclear-level response," Finn supplies from behind us. "Remember the great parking violation of 2021?"
"We don't talk about that," June and I chorus.
"Why not?" Holden asks.
"Legal reasons," I say vaguely.
We arrive at the community center to find what appears to be the entire town assembled. There's actually a projector set up.
"She made another PowerPoint," I whisper in horror.
"About us?" Holden asks.
"About your shadows," Teddy calls out cheerfully from his seat. "Very artistic interpretation!"
"Please tell me she didn't—" I start.
The first slide appears: "Inappropriate Shadow Puppets: A Crisis of Public Decency."
"She did," I finish weakly.
