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But with a frustrated sigh, she stepped back, grabbed her journal, and walked away. Completely oblivious to me and the line I'd just crossed.Again.

It was me watching her leave this time, barely controlling myself.

Every ounce of my strength went into keeping my feet rooted to the spot so I didn't rush after her and finish that kiss unveiled from the shadows. Or more.

Istillwanted more.

I had enough problems without craving the one thing I was supposed to control. But I wanted her.

And I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back.

Chapter 34

Elariya

“The Silence He Left Behind”

Rich scents of honeyed bread and spiced tea hung thick throughout the dining hall, but none of it warmed me like it had over the last few days.

I sat at the long oak table trying to eat the lunch Sirril had prepared for me. Silence and the soft sound of my breath were my only company.

Though I wasn't hungry, I stabbed my fork into the slice of meat pie on my plate and nibbled on it. I didn't want to offend Sirril any more than I already had.

He'd gone through a great deal of trouble to cook me something extra special—as he'd said. The meals were still supposedly ones Wolfe had seen me eat back home, though I couldn't remember having meat pie before he took me.

Since my captivity, food inspired by home had been a gentle comfort, but today, it felt more like a mockery. Sirril bore me no such ill intentions, but every bite reminded me that I had no way to get back to the people I loved.

I'd been sitting here for a little over an hour, pretending everything hadn't cracked wide open yesterday and that I wasn't slowly unraveling inch by inch, going insane.

Nothing had happened after Wolfe left me on the balcony. No one said anything to me, and there was no word of any plans to follow.

Arielle stayed with me until nightfall but discouraged any conversation about the incident and practiced magic ashis lordshiphad commanded. I was surprised by her restraint, though I supposed it was because she didn't know what to tell me.

I understood she might not have wanted to say the wrong things, but there was so much I wanted to talk about. Like the spell and my dream about the Nyzith strands, which I didn't think was a dream. If it had been, I wouldn't have been right about the name. I'd never heard anyone speak of Nyzith strands before. And I still had no idea what they were. Even if they'd been spoken about during a forgotten reset, I wouldn't have retained that information. That was how my curse worked.

Wolfe and I were the only ones who could see them. There had to be some valid reason for that.

All Arielle told me was that it was best to wait until Wolfe came back to us with a solution. When she left, I briefly saw Garrick, but we didn't speak. I didn't know if that was because of the situation or the crazy don't-touch-my-mage warning he'd gotten from Wolfe, which still jarred me.

Sirril was the only person I'd seen this morning. The poor guy must have known things weren't right because he'd done everything to try to cheer me up. Every attempt made me feel bad that I couldn't feel better for him. Until I knew what the new plans were, there was nothing better to feel.

At least yesterday morning—before the spell went to the darkest hell—I'd had some form of hope. I didn't have much to cling to, but it was something.

Doing the spell had beenThe Plan. It was the only thing Wolfe and I had discussed at length while we were at sea. I'd fully believed it was the solution to resolving our problems. He'd believed it, too. Theyallhad.

We were aware there would be a period of trial and error, but yesterday proved that something else was at work that neither of us understood. The fact that I hadn't seen anyone else yet was testament to our extinguished hopes.

Blessed Mother, playing the game and being compliant had gotten me nowhere. All that had done was confuse the hells out of me when it came to Wolfe.

Just thinking his name made my head hurt. And my heart.

I was certain I'd felt his presence again late last night in the garden. I was sure he was there.

Last night, his presence was almost as tangible as my journal. He'd watched me and ignored my plea. Of course he would.

Like a fool, I'd succumbed to vulnerability and told him I was scared. I didn't know why I said that, but I did. The part of me that refused to let go of the connection I felt with him clung to hope that he might have comforted me.

Common sense told me he didn't care about me that way, but even now, that connection was still screwing with my mind.