Page 29 of Great Pretender
As she said those words, they spoke to the part of me that always wondered if she felt the way I did after we kissed.
Hours after she left, I found myself fixated on that. Not even what I was about to lose.
I went into work early and got lost in what I should have been busy with yesterday. Since my head was all over the place and I skipped work on Tuesday, I have a shit load of work to do today.
And fucking hell, my damn head is the same. Worse, actually, as I just fucked up my friendship with Piper.
Murray comes in a little after nine with a hopeful expression on his face. My door is open. One look at me, and he closes it.
Now the solemn expression on his face reflects mine.
“What happened?” he asks.
“She said no.”
“Really?” He seems surprised.
Maybe it’s just me who has some level of morals when it comes to Piper. I think it’s more the case that I know she’s not like other women who follow me around and throw themselves at me. She’d never be that way for anyone, least of all me. So, the response I got from her this morning is exactly what I thought I’d get.
“Yes, Murray. I don’t know if I can fake my way through this plan.”
“Well, can you do the real thing?” It doesn’t help that he gives me a skeptical look.
“This is shit—all of it. And now I have one day less to get back to my father. And I’ve lost Piper.” Lost her, and I don’t even know if she’ll come back to the house.
It does look like I’ve taken advantage of her situation, although I haven’t. But more than that, I look like an asshole asking her to do something so bizarre when she just came out of a long-term relationship.
She can tell me all she wants that she didn’t love Heath or stopped loving him, but I remember what they were like when they were together. To me, she always looked like she had hope he’d be the one. When she said she wanted true love and called me out for my unsavory habits, I couldn’t have felt worse. It hardly matters that I’ve changed and made one little mistake if people continue to see the bad in me.
“What actually happened with her? Talk to me. I can’t imagine her ditching you just like that.”
“It’s not a just like that thing, Murray. I asked her to marry me and jump into this fake relationship so I could get what I wanted.”
“Did you offer her the money?”
“A million dollars.”
“And she still turned you down?”
“Of course, she did.”
“Fuck, now there’s a chick you can guarantee won’t screw you for money.”
“Murray,” I chide.
“Come on, Chad, do you know any women who would turn down a million dollars?”
I don’t because she’s the woman who doesn’t want to be with another guy who doesn’t want her. Except she was wrong, and I think that’s why I can’t forget what she said.
“She isn’t like most women.” And she’d never want to be with a guy like me.
I almost revealed myself to her when I mentioned how Curtis poked the beast in me.
I lost my shit when he asked me if I had any regrets.
“What the hell are you gonna do?” Murray asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Murray, if I knew that, we wouldn’t be standing here talking it out.”
