Page 71 of Sins or Secrets
When I open the case, I'm met with the letter first.Underneath it is a foolscap folder that looks like it has some documents.
On the front of the letter is my name in Lilly’s handwriting.It’s so good to see it.
I open the letter and start reading:
My Dearest Niece,
If you are reading this, it means I’m gone.
It means I no longer walk on this earth or dance the way my heart willed me to.
In the last ten years, I’ve had so many regrets.But my regrets started long before those years when I made deals with that devil, your father.
I stop reading and take a moment to look ahead of me when an ominous feeling grips my insides.
Lilly knew what Dad was like, but even on that horrible night they argued she never referred to him as the devil.
I continue reading.
I’m sure by now you see how evil he was and he did more than what you knew.I’ve had so many sins and secrets on my mind for as long as you’ve lived and I fear my part in keeping them.
I think though, that you and I both know the risks of speaking out.
Now that your father is dead the threat is gone and this is one secret I won’t take to my grave.
I never wanted to be the keeper of such a secret in the first place but it was one I had to keep to protect.
Quinn, when I used to teach at the high school, your father had an affair with one of the students and she got pregnant.She was your real mother.
She was only sixteen at the time and he forced her to give you up when he found out he couldn’t have any more children.
It’s a sad story and I’m too weak to go into it so I thought I’d include the letters she wrote to me over the years to show you how much she loved you.
I didn’t want to spring this on you before now.I wanted you to settle in and settle down.
There was a time when she wanted you to know who she was, but it was too dangerous.Your father threatened to have her and her family killed if she came out with the truth.When he killed her brother because he was going to expose him, she backed down.
Then years later she decided it best that you live your life without knowing her so she moved away.
I will only tell you that her name is Heather, because I won’t betray her secret too.Maybe you’ll find each other.Maybe you won’t want to. I don’t know.I just couldn’t keep something so important away from you any longer, or allow you to live the rest of your life not knowing you had a parent who loved you with all her heart.
I’ll miss you. Please know that I do, and I have every day since I last saw your face.
I will always love you Quinn.
I pray you can forgive me for my sins and secrets.
I never meant to hurt you.
All my love,
Lilly
My hands are shaking by the time I get to the end and bile churns my stomach.
I keep reading that middle section again and again.
She was your real mother.
