Page 57 of Sins or Secrets
Instead of the euphoria I felt when I told Bree yesterday, who jumped up and down and screamed with me like we’d both won a million dollars.I don’t feel that today.
I feel weird.
I feel like I just announced I’m available, and to the one person I shouldn’t want to complicate things with.
The past and the history we have is what some people would call dark.At least on my part. He’s none the wiser on what happened to me.The memory makes me want to run back into the house and hide for the next six months.
But… the look in his eyes makes me want to stay.
Stay and leave the past exactly where it is and think of now because that look is unmistakably and unashamedly exactly like how he’d look at me in the past when he wanted me.
Logan Savage isn’t the kind of man to hide his feelings.The same way people wear their heart on their sleeves is the same with him.
He’s an open book and you don’t have to guess with him.
So when he leans in again and takes a lock of my hair and allows the ends to curl about his thumb, I know my declaration just made a dent in that invisible wall we had between us,and I just crossed some line I didn’t know I was crossing.
“Is that so Quinn Cambray?” That’s the first time since I’ve been home that he’s full named me like he used to, and with my maidenname.
It sounds good to myears.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good news. Come, let's eat.”
The ends of myhairfall back to my side and when he sits on the patch of grass near the tray I sit next to him.
Quinn
Despite my inner turmoil, and the high sexual tension rippling through the air, the day went surprisingly well.
Logan and I spent the whole day together, and it felt like old times when we used to hang out.Of course, that would have been the times prior to when we eventually got together, and when he wasn’t teasing me.
So, I’m probably thinking of a good twelve years ago or so.Before that time, I was the nerdy girl watching him with his friends while they got up to all manner of crazy.He’d tease me for staring and ask me if I didn’t have anything better to do.Then one day, a little after Barry’s death, we decided to call a permanent truce and that hanging out turned into something more.
Aside from my obvious sexual desperation this morning, I was able to do some actual work.While Logan focused on the walls, I cleaned up and stacked the broken pieces of wood on the other side of the boardwalk.
By nightfall, I got a blanket for us to sit on andwe used the wood to build a fire and roasted marshmallows.
While I readied the marshmallows on the skewer he did the roasting and told me his war stories.
So far, it’s just been nice being with him.
“Weren’t you scared you’d get lost?” I ask.
He was just telling me about the mission where he had to wander the desert without a phone or any way of contacting his team.
“No. I used the stars to guide me.” He nods and looks at me like that’s the obvious answer.
“The stars, Logan? Really? How the hell do you do that?”
“It’s simple, well to me anyway, and the clearer the night sky the better.Sailors in the past used to rely on the sky to show them the way.I just did the same thing. Not everyone can do it and it helps to have a compass, but when you don’t you have to make do with what you have.”
I’m fascinated and intrigued listening to him.He’d mentioned something similar before, but not like this.We used to stargaze a lot, but I didn’t know he’d be able to use the stars to direct him across a desert.
“How do you do it?”
He stands and beckons for me to come to him.I set the marshmallows back in the bowl and make my way to him.
