Page 143 of Sins or Secrets
Lauren hangs back and ambles over to me nervously when the last girl leaves.
“Hi Miss Cambray,” she begins.“Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Of course you can.”
“Thank you. I’m planning to go to Juilliard,” she says and it doesn’t surprise me.“I mean I want to study there.I know it’s hard to get in but I want to try.I was really happy that you were able to open classes here again.Lilly was amazing and I haven’t been able to find another teacher like her.I wondered if you might be able to write me a letter of recommendation to support my application.”
My God. I don’t think I’ve ever been given such an honor.
“I would be completely honored to do that for you, of course.”
Her face lights up and she beams at me, her smile filling her little face.
“Thank you so much. I want to do exactly what you did. Everything you did is literally my dream.”
“Oh you’re too kind.”
“I’m being serious. I want to train at Juilliard, dance with the New York City Ballet, then teach.It would be beautiful to have something like this.”
“Yes.” I nod. “That would be beautiful.”
“I wanted to ask if you might be continuing a class after the summer school.I’m aware it’s the last one but I wasn’t sure if you might do something else.”
The question of my life. It’s been five days since Jodi called me with that offer and I’m way up on the proverbial fence sitting on it not knowing what I’m doing.
“I… I’m thinking about what we’re doing.I’ll probably let the class know in a week or so.”
Let them know I’m leaving?
Every time I get to that part where I need to give myself a firm yes or no I get stuck.
“Okay. That would be great. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lauren says.
“See you tomorrow.”
I watch Lauren leave and as I look over at Bree when she approaches me, I can tell she knows my inner struggle.
“Come, let’s sit by the river,” she says, cocking her head to the side.
I release a shallow breath and follow her out to our little bench where we sit and watch the ducks swim up to the bank.
We keep a little pot of bread out here to feed them.Bree grabs it first and tosses a lump of breadcrumbs out onto the lake.
“Okay, so I’m not going to beat around the bush and try to get you to talk,” Bree says, shuffling to face me.“I’ve been hoping you’d talk to me, but I guess it must be hard.”
“Yeah, and harder because Logan hasn’t talked to me at all.”
She looks surprised to hear that.“Really? I thought he would.”
“No. Not a word. It’s like it hasn’t happened.Like it doesn’t exist. But I get it, because what can we say.”
“You should still talk. Quinn, you guys can’t just leave this to fester until the day comes when you leave.Assuming you are leaving. Just now I swear you were going to burst into tears.”
I sigh. “Bree, I hate this because I should know what to do, and I don’t.It almost feels like a damn no brainer, except it’s not.I think even if I take the million dollars I’ll inherit out of the equation it still feels hard to me, but I think if that didn’t exist the lure of going to New York might be stronger.”
“Quinn you need to sit down and think.That’s my advice. But, before you do that, you have to talk to Logan because if I feel like this, like I’m about to lose my best friend again, and I feel like a selfish bitch for saying that,I don’t want to know what he must be feeling.It has to be worse and that’s why he hasn’t said anything.”
“Oh Bree…”I breathe. “I’m sorry.You aren’t losing me though. I’ll call you every day.”
