Page 13 of Sins or Secrets
All that magic she created when she danced is gone.
How could it have ended this way?
A warm hand rests on my shoulder, and it’s only then that I look away from the coffin.
I turn to see Father Jenkins.Sympathy shines in his eyes.
“My aunt,” I mumble as tears stream down my cheeks.“She’s really dead.”I must sound so foolish.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he says.“Come walk with me.”
“Thank you.”
He puts out his arm for me to take and as I do, I lock eyes with the one person I worried about seeing the most.
Logan Savage is sitting not even ten feet away from me.His sharp blue eyes take me in, boring into me like always.I remember trying to figure out what his expression meant because he always looked like that.
Stern faced and brooding. Mysterious.
His dark blond hair is slightly ruffled giving him a boyish look I remember, but the suit makes him look like a man.
There’s a platinum blond haired woman sitting next to him.The glare she gives me is what makes me look away.
Father Jenkins leads me to one of the pews closest to the front of the church with the least amount of people, sits me down then makes his way to the pulpit to begin the service.
As he speaks the tears flow down my cheeks.I can barely hear what he’s saying against the memories of Lilly flood my mind and the pain in my soul.
Thank God I had the good sense to bring enough tissue.
The service ends with a reading of In Memoriam By Tennyson, Aunt Lilly’s favorite poet and poem from him and I watch as the pallbearers rise to take the coffin.
There’s supposed to be a short break here before the departure to the private cemetery where Lilly will be buried next to Barry.I just don’t know if I can make it to that part and watch the actual burial.It’s so final.
I stand when everyone else does as the bearers go through the door.If I can just make it to my car, I’ll know what to do next.
I don’t want to be a coward and not go then have more regrets.
I’m already shaking at the thought of Aunt Lilly being lowered into the ground that it doesn't surprise me that my knees give andI drop my bag as I standto join the procession of people leaving.The damn contents roll out because it was opened.I forgot to close it once I’d taken out the Kleenex pack.
All my lipsticks, pens, and coins from my change purse are strewn across the floor.
I kneel to start gathering it up, managing to grab the coins and shove them back in.I’ve nearly got it all when a pair of shiny men's shoes come into view.
When I look up to see the owner, I’m surprised.Shocked even, then embarrassment comes followed by guilt as I find myself staring once again into Logan’s steely blue gaze.
He bends down, picks up my lipstick then hands it to me.
“Thank you. My hands are all over the place today,” I say as if that would really explain my clumsiness.
“That’s okay, I think we’re all the same,” he answers and hearing his voice feels like cominghome.
I find myself falling into the temptation luring me to stareagain.It’s hard to resist when I always didthat.
He’s still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in mylife.
We stand, and he continues to watch me like he’s trying to figure meout.
“How are you holding up?” heasks.
