Page 89 of A Surefire Love
Relief and longing encouraged him toward her, but hesitation kept him buckled to his seat. He hadn’t called her yesterday because he didn’t want the loss to be true. He didn’t understand what God was doing. Couldn’t claim he liked it. He knew verses about situations like these, but applying them felt like finding comfort in clichés.
If the board knew he was thinking that way, they’d probably be happier they fired him.
Blaze stood. Keeping his pain and confusion to himself didn’t make it less true or easier to bear. Blaze’s presence might, so he got out of the car.
She wore dress pants and a blouse under a long green trench coat that rippled in the breeze as she approached. She must’ve come from the service.
His muscles protested as he pushed his door shut. His reckless pace at the gym could’ve injured him, and then what would he do with his spinning mind?
Blaze stopped on the other side of the hood with her head at an assessing tilt. The wind flirted with the ends of her hair, and the sun added highlights. “Not checking your phone?” Kindness, not recrimination, carried her voice.
He patted his pocket. He had left the phone in the carduring his workout and hadn’t touched it since. “Purposely avoiding it.”
“Ah.”
He couldn’t keep his head in the sand forever, though, so he retrieved the device from the center console. Then he escorted Blaze to the house and held the door open for her. “I should’ve called you.”
She stepped into the entryway. “Ditto. I’m sorry.”
Her simple response soothed the hurt he’d felt when she hadn’t reached out. His eyes misted with unexpected emotion, so he turned away to shut the door. “Me too.”
He ushered Blaze into the living room of his fixer-upper. A couch, TV, bookshelf, and coffee table filled the room.
“You seem like a dog person.” Blaze reached out, as if looking for a head to pet. “A black lab, maybe.”
“I thought about it. My parents had dogs when I grew up. I like them, but I’m not home a lot and they …” He cleared his throat. “Pets never seem to live forever.”
Blaze studied him. “None of us do.”
Pressure built behind his eyes. He lowered himself onto the couch and rubbed his forehead. Blaze’s coat rustled, the couch dipped, and her hand rubbed his back.
“I don’t know why I’m upset,” he said toward the floor.
“No?”
“I don’t know why I’mthisupset.” Liquid collected in his eyes. He managed to blink it away. “It’s not like there weren’t signs they would fire me. I guess I didn’t really think God would allow it. I keep wracking my brain, but I can’t figure it out.”
She rested her forearm along his spine, drawing circles with her fingertips between his shoulder blades. “I don’t know what to do with it either.”
He sat back and took her hand. “It’s like, either they don’t know God, or they don’t care. How else could we come from such different places?”
“I don’t know. The people on the board have been believers much longer than me, and I guess I had everyone up on pedestals.” Her hands tightened until her knuckles paled. “But we’re all just human, aren’t we? The board included. And humans can be fully convinced even when they’re only partially right, especially when it comes to a God whose ways aren’t our ways.” Her grip loosened as she spoke, but tension built in him.
“You think the board was partially right?”
Her eyes and mouth rounded like a student caught bad-mouthing a friend. She wet her lips. “I don’t know what to think. These are people I trusted. I mean, I believe Eric could be off base, but how did he convince the whole board?”
Even she wasn’t on his side?
He rose. Paced. Faced her. “The fact that they did something unbelievable doesn’t make them partially right. I was trying to reach the youth spiritually. That should’ve been the board’s focus too. Especially Eric’s. If he believes what I believe about eternity, how could he lead a crusade against me when one of my biggest concerns was his son? What’s going to become of Carter now? I just don’t”—he clenched a fist and released it—“get it. Why did God allow this? And what am I supposed to do now?”
Her mouth tipped. “All you can do is trust God and stay faithful. Extend grace.”
“Extend grace as Eric runs the church into the ground? This whole thing is just—” He growled. “Evil isn’t supposed to win like this, but the whole leadership board is blindlyfollowing Eric because of money and numbers. How can they call themselves Christians?”
She worked her hands together. “Those are some pretty extreme accusations.”
“If the shoe fits.”
