Page 75 of A Surefire Love
Her eyes sank closed. She hadn’t felt so secure since he’d saved her from the river. “So, you liked it?”
“No.”
Her stomach sank, and she shifted back.
He kissed her forehead, then tucked her to his side. “I don’t like that you went through all that. And that was just a couple of pages of your stories. I’m sure you could fill a book with events that would …” He sucked a breath through his teeth. “Probably break my heart and make me want to go on a rampage.”
She tipped her head against his shoulder. “You still want to associate with me?”
He laughed, rich and low. “I want to do a lot more than associate.”
She gasped and clutched at non-existent pearls. “Anson Marsh, whatever could you mean?”
“At the moment, I was thinking of walking you out to your car and stealing a couple of kisses.”
“There’s a commandment against stealing.”
“You’re welcome to give them to me instead.” When he smiled at her like that, how could she resist? She followed him out to her car.
28
Blaze hadn’t realized she’d chosen such a young specialist. Dr. Van Blair’s bio included a thumbnail-sized picture, but she’d scrolled past to read about his approach to his practice. With only faint lines by his eyes and on his forehead, he might be in his thirties. A doctor his age couldn’t have much experience. Had she made another mistake?
Lord, please give this man wisdom. I can’t keep doing this.
She produced the envelopes. “Since I had no one to bring with, I asked some people to write about me. Philip is my boss for my singing gig.” She surrendered his note first.
Dr. Van Blair hummed a few random notes to himself as he read. “Next?”
“Marissa. A longtime friend.”
Her thoughts must’ve been brief, because he barely hummed two bars before he eyed her last envelope.
“Anson is my church’s youth pastor.” Her heart lurched as she passed it over.
The doctor withdrew the paper and read it as quickly asthe others. Afterward, he dove into questions about her work, her family, her experiences in school, and her life. Then came the assessments. Her confidence wore thin. If, after all this, he handed her another anxiety diagnosis, she’d be in tears. Which would probably confirm what she didn’t want to believe about herself—that her problem was, indeed, anxiety, and all her other struggles stemmed from laziness or incompetence.
Two hours later, Dr. Van Blair looked up from the latest set of results. “Good news. Coffee isn’t the problem.”
Blaze bit her lip, unsure how to take that.
“Instead of leading to jitters, in people with ADHD, caffeine can adjust dopamine to a more normal level that helps with concentration. Heavy caffeine use was probably your way of self-medicating.”
“Self-medicating?” Was he saying she had ADHD? Or … “Isn’t self-medicating associated with addiction?” The last word came out in pieces.
“It is sometimes used in that context. That’s not the way I meant it, but”—he nodded—“thereisa link between ADHD and addiction to alcohol and illicit drugs. Since ADHD is genetic and both you and your sister have it, it’s likely one or both of your parents did as well. That may have contributed to some of their struggles in life. Left untreated, ADHD can shorten life expectancy, sometimes significantly.” His mouth scrunched.
Blaze clutched the armrest. Her parents might have had more working against them than she’d known. Regret andwhat-ifschurned her stomach.
“But, back to the good news.” Dr. Van Blair raised a pointed finger. “ADHD is also highly treatable. In addition to the lifestyle adjustments you’ve already made with yoursister, the medications available are some of the most effective out there. Now that we’ve confirmed you have it, we can set about finding which medication and dose is going to change your life—and I’m not exaggerating. I think you’ll see a huge improvement.”
“I was told I had anxiety.” The thought slipped out as a whisper.
The doctor inhaled loudly. “Sure, I do see some indications of that, and if it turns out to be necessary, we certainly can treat you for anxiety as well. But I believe what we’re dealing with here are the secondary effects of ADHD. When we notice we’re struggling, like you have been with ADHD, it’s natural to become anxious or to have low self-esteem. If we treat the root cause, the anxiety might very well clear up on its own.”
Blaze’s eyes flooded faster than the canoe had. Tears dripped off her chin before she thought to catch them. “So I’m not just crazy?”
Dr. Van Blair passed her a tissue. “You’re not crazy. More than that, you’re not broken.”
