Page 115 of To Belong Together
Why was she in this relationship at all? Because he hated to give Sam anything, but hadn’t John himself come up against Erin’s disinterest in dating that first morning they’d met? What had changed between then and when she’d accepted his invite to go car shopping?
For one thing, she’d learned about his job.
He’d texted Gannon the story, and his friend had echoed John’s own convictions—whatever came of it, he could do nothing today.
Still, after they were at her mom’s house, he’d found an opportunity to question Susanna. On hearing that Erin was indeed on a mission to save her mom from foreclosure, he’d circled back to Erin just long enough to say good-night.
She’d walked him to the door, and the sadness in her eyes didn’t seem to be about her dad. It seemed she knew John had reasons to walk away from her, reasons she couldn’t dispute.
He might make a worse actor than he’d realized because he hadn’t meant to let on to his feelings. Still trying to cover, he’d kissed her cheek, said good-night, and left before he either gave in and let himself believe she cared for him or supplied her with yet another reason to cry.
Now in the cool, still darkness of Gannon’s yard, his eyes sank closed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Erin was supposed to be different.
At a noise from the front door, he opened his eyes, shifted away from the car, and prayed for better abilities to fake normalcy.
The dim recessed lighting illuminated Gannon’s silhouette, advancing down the drive.
John let himself fall back against the car door and crossed his arms. If there was one person in the world John didn’t have to act with, it was him.
“Saw you pull in.” Gannon lifted his phone, where he had his security app open. “You ask her about it?”
“No, but a friend of her mom’s confirmed the foreclosure.” He still wondered that he’d managed to keep his questions conversational enough to avoid putting Susanna on guard. “They got the final notice two weeks ago, and that’s why Erin’s moving in—to save the house. Erin told me it was so she could keep her mother company.”
“It’s probably both.” Gannon stood unusually still, studying him. “She might have good reasons for not telling you, and she didn’t ask you to pay for anything. That right there makes her different from Nic.”
“She hasn’t askedyet. But she also didn’t ask for my help with her dad until her resources were exhausted. And Nicole didn’t ask up front either.”
“Erin’s going through a lot right now.” Gannon offered the fact hesitantly. He must’ve known it wouldn’t change John’s mind.
“Trials don’t turn us into people we’re not. They expose who we really are.”
Gannon crossed his arms and leaned heavily against the car, mimicking John’s posture. “Is the same true for you?”
“I’m sure it is. You want to know who I am?”
“Who?” Gannon sounded leery.
“Awestruck’s drummer.” He pushed away from the car and started for the house. “Come on. We have work to do.” Videos to record, songs to polish, tracks to lay, a setlist to make, rehearsals to attend.
“Knock it off.” Gannon caught his shoulder, turning him, and didn’t back up, even when they stood toe-to-toe. “She cares about you. If she did or said something stupid … I’m a card-carrying member of that club, and you haven’t written me off yet. With some of the stuff I’ve pulled, I would’ve written myself off if I could’ve.”
John drew a deep breath. Still felt as if he were breathing with boulders instead of lungs. “Grace with a longtime friend is different from failing to recognize obvious warning signs.” He retreated a step, daunted at the thought of what he’d have to do when he next saw Erin.
Daunted by a future without her in it.
Why did his relationships keep falling apart?
He turned his back on Gannon and rubbed his chest, trying to suppress the pain before it doubled him over.
“You’re in pretty deep with her.”
Yes. Way over his head. Good thing he’d learned the truth when he had. What if it’d lasted a few more weeks?
“You’ve been through a lot together. My bet is she’s equally invested in you. For both your sakes, you owe this more work before you bury the relationship alive. You have to talk this out.”
Talk? He couldn’t help himself around Erin. He was always trusting her, always sharing with her, always telling her things he shouldn’t. He’d thought that part of their relationship mutual. She’d seemed so open, and here she’d kept important information back. Another conversation wasn’t the solution. It couldn’t be. “Talking is how I end up getting massacred.”
“That’s an old wound speaking. The real massacre was the situation with your dad.” Gannon kept his voice even and calm, but the words felt like the lashes of a belt John had once endured. “Nic and your sisters did their share of damage too. Don’t overreact now by blaming Erin for injuries she happened to stumble across after the fact.”
