Page 87 of To Believe In You
She stepped closer but didn’t dare touch him, as much as she longed to lend comfort. “Are you okay? How can I help? The offer to watch a movie still stands.”
Her eyes had been adjusting to the darkness, and now that she stood nearby, she could see the line between his brows and the stony set of his mouth. He looked at her long and hard, as if to memorize what he saw so he could call it to mind later. As if he was about to say goodbye.
I was always going to lose you, he’d said. Did he … Had he meant that as a breakup?
“I shouldn’t have been so overbearing last night.” Her words scrambled, like hands desperately trying to grab something—anything—to stop a fall. “Finding out about Nadia must’ve been incredibly disorienting, and it’s going to take a while to work everything out.”
He deflated with a sigh.
“But you will, and I won’t hammer you with unsolicited advice. I’m sorry I overstepped. Tell me what you need from me, and that’s what I’ll do. Listening, getting your mind off of it, whatever it takes.”
His face turned toward the road. “You asked me to be honest with you. I promised to earn your trust.”
“And you were honest, even when you thought it would come between us.”
“A little honesty doesn’t make me reliable.”
Her cheeks burned, and her stomach twisted. Last night, she’d credited his attitude to the long day and the emotion of recent events. Sleep and time should’ve helped him begin to recover. Instead, his outlook seemed to have deteriorated further.
“What happened with the car accident? Why did that mean losing some of your jobs?”
“The car broke down in the road and got rear-ended. Because of the accident, I missed another shift at the home improvement store, and they let me go.”
She scoffed. “That sounds strict.”
“It is what it is. Without a car, I can’t deliver pizzas, so I quit.”
Couldn’t he have found a way to make delivery driving work? She hated to see him looking defeated, giving up on things. Yet, if she voiced her concern, he’d take it as an accusation, not seeing how she hurt for him and wanted the best for him. “Okay. Four jobs was a lot.”
Troubled lines marked his forehead. “I need to cut my losses.”
“Makes sense. You have enough on your plate.”
Matt swiped his fingers over his mouth, as if to rub off his frown. He failed. “I don’t see a future between us.”
Shewas one of those losses he wanted to cut? She took a staggering step backward. “Is this because of last night? Because I’m sorry if I was pushy—”
“It’s not about that.”
“The Awestruck audition? Are you angry I talked to Gannon and John? I—”
“You did nothing wrong, Lina.” Finally, he made eye contact. But if he was telling the truth and she hadn’t failed, why was he doing this? “Just steer clear of Shane. You can do better.” He stepped backward toward the SUV. “With some distance, you’ll see it too.”
The Shane comment must be a distraction, the unrelated sentence in the word problem.
He’d said he’d been doomed to lose her from the start. He thought she could do better than him.
He pulled open the door and got behind the wheel.
As the engine came to life, Lina’s breaths came fast and shallow. Did she deserve this? To be left again? Was there something about her men couldn’t stand? Or was she still too trusting?
It’s not about you.
The foreign thought brought calm, even as the pain rippled out. Working together at Key of Hope would become awkward at best. She wouldn’t get to hear about his audition. He’d no longer lend a listening ear. Whatever happened with Shane and her dad, she was on her own. If Matt found his child, she wouldn’t get to meet him or her. Wouldn’t get to see Matt step into the role of father.
God had answered her prayer to see Matt’s true character. He was trustworthy and courageous, but not impervious to injury—physical or emotional. Hurt by recent events, he’d concluded pushing her away would protect her. And maybe himself.
She could never convince him of how wrong he was.
