Page 92 of To Bring You Back
She wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt. He’d said she’d thrown some punches, and she had. She’d hurt him, and in a relationship, odds were she’d do so again. Why was he so willing to accept the risk?
Silence, and then the third song started, the beat driven with a bitter tension the other songs had lacked.
You can’t hurt me now so go ahead and try. You can’t win or wound a missing heart, and mine’s been laid to rest. I buried it at nineteen, I sent it packing with a girl who’s long, long gone. Beneath your hand’s an empty chest. You came too late, and you’re only second best.
The moment when Harper laid her hand on Gannon half an hour ago flashed to mind. The inclusion of a song that expressed something other than selfless love or longing made the collection ring with authenticity.
The fourth song started. There had only been four files on the drive, so this was it, the song he’d composed this morning.
The house burned down, I’ll take the blame. The sparks keep catching, an open flame. Kerosene on my hands, and you’re a girl on fire. The ashes swirl higher, and I watch for a phoenix to rise. The story here will define our lives, and I’m praying a phoenix will rise.
Though it was the roughest and most incomplete of the songs he’d recorded, she could imagine the music fleshed out better than the others. By the third and final time the chorus repeated, she was tapping the rhythm she’d use for the bass line. Maybe she ought to go down to the studio and see if she could get anywhere close to the sound she had in mind.
“Look at you.”
Adeline started and sat up. The song had ended, but she hadn’t heard Tegan take up station in the doorway.
“Superior Dogs changed their dress code? Or …” Tegan slanted her head, eyes on the teal top Adeline wore. “Isn’t that mine?”
Adeline smoothed her hands over the fabric, stalling as her mind switched gears. “My church clothes didn’t seem quite right, so I raided your closet before I dropped off my resume for that job you’ve been telling me about. Since it’s the weekend, I was lucky they were open at all. I doubt any decision makers were there, but I figured better safe than sorry.”
“You applied?” Tegan perched on the edge of a nearby armchair.
Adeline lay back on the bed again. Gannon had accused her of wanting to retreat to her comfort zone, but those were all gone. The press hounded Superior Dogs, fangirls attended church to gather details about Awestruck, and her house had become a target for crazy fans. Adeline herself had changed. Even if she and Gannon didn’t move forward, she was dreaming up bass lines and applying for jobs. There was no going back.
“Asher replaced me with a high schooler—temporarily—but maybe it’s time I stop hogging a job a teenager would love and take my place in the world.”
Tegan hesitated, probably searching for something to say other than,It’s about time. “A high schooler couldn’t do your job at church.”
“I’m not so sure. I prayed a little bit about quitting, and I’ll take any changes one step at a time, but if the college job comes through, church will find a replacement easily enough. Anyway, I’m ready for money to not be so tight.” Pain slithered through her again at the memory of what Noah had said. “There’s a rumor I tried to burn down the house because I couldn’t afford the repairs.”
Tegan uttered apfft.“People are unbelievable.”
“Yeah. Well …” The fire inspector might not think the rumors were so far-fetched. He’d asked again and again about what she’d done when and why. Maybe she ought to accept Gannon’s offer to pay for the repairs without an insurance claim. She’d rather endure romance rumors than accusations of arson. “You talked to Gannon?”
Tegan sighed, drummed her fingers on the armrest, and gazed out the window. “I’m not his biggest fan. Harper shouldn’t be here.”
Adeline studied the recessed ceiling over the bed. “I agree.”
“But?”
“He apologized. Gave me some of his songs to listen to.”
“And?”
And she was still hurt, afraid of more pain for both of them, but more in love with the man behind the songs than ever.
“I take it they were good songs,” Tegan said.
“I keep thinking about a bass line for one of them. It’s like playing for five minutes yesterday cracked open a door to music that I have to walk through now.”
Music and a new job—these had become needs that outweighed the discomfort of having to change. Could she add more change to the list? How long would it be until she felt peace dealing with the difficulties of being associated with fame? And could she safely rely on Gannon to help her through?
“I like him.” Adeline almost laughed at the understatement. “A lot. But I’m worried too, and his life is complicated. I’m praying about what to do, but do you think God will answer clearly enough for me to recognize Him?”
“I do, but you’ll have to be willing to hear, even if the answer isn’t what you want.”
Despite an ongoing breeze,the sun shone. Gannon stood at the wall on the cliff and watched the crests of waves foam and fade back to turquoise. A group of kayakers bobbed about sixty feet from the rocks, their progress slowed by the choppy lake. Farther out, a tourist ship rounded the side of the island on its way from the lighthouse to the marina.
