Page 90 of To Bring You Back
“People have tried to hurt you?”
At this rate, she’d imagine something worse than it’d been. “Someone pulled a knife on me backstage once. Another time, a woman carried a pocket revolver into a music festival, also with the intention of finding me.”
“Why?”
“Which one?”
His question seemed to deepen the lines on her forehead, so he gave up holding out. “The knife was a disgruntled husband. His wife came to one of our shows, met us backstage, and never went home. She filed for divorce. Not because of us, but that’s how he saw it—hence, the knife.”
He waited to see if she’d let him stop there, but she moved a little closer, watching for him to continue.
Closer. That had to be a good sign, even if her forehead remained furrowed.
“The pocket revolver lady called in to a radio interview I was giving. She went on about how she and I were meant to be together for eternity. I said Jesus had dibs on my eternity, and she came to the festival to introduce me to Him. She didn’t get to use it, but that’s more than enough close calls for me, and I won’t gamble with you.”
Adeline ran her finger over the surface of the desk near the door, less than two feet from him now. “Can I ask you something?”
“Don’t you know the answer to that by now?” He touched her elbow, hoping she might step nearer.
Hurt seemed to pool in her eyes.
“Yes, Adeline. You can ask me anything.”
Frowning, she focused on the desk. “How close are we?”
“To what?”
“Each other.” She shifted away. Only a few inches. A movement that didn’t look conscious, but it warred with his impulse to reach out and pull her closer. Why hadn’t he kissed her when he’d had the chance? Then she wouldn’t have to ask questions like this.
She must’ve taken his silence to indicate confusion because she dove into an explanation. “We have history together, and I wonder if that has led to a false sense of closeness. Maybe I’m a lot like that woman with the gun, thinking we’re something when that’s not at all what it is for you. In the past, we were close, but now, we’re just a couple of weeks into getting reacquainted. We’re barely friends.”
“I thought we were past this.”
She backed farther from him. “You didn’t tell me about Matt. And people have tried to kill you? Being here is a wake-up call. I hardly know you.”
She might as well have planted her hands on his chest and shoved him away.
Hardly knew him? After everything? “Tegan and John seem to think your heart needs to be protected from me, but you pack a few punches of your own.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Be honest, Gannon. Harper knows you better than I do.”
“Harper doesn’t know herself, let alone another human being. She pays enough attention to manipulate us, butknowingsomeone? That takes more than she has to offer. She asked me last night if my dad taught me to change a tire.”
She winced, but her frown persisted. “I’m not sure I trust you where she’s concerned.”
“I’m not one to hide my sins like that. I wanted to tell Fitz about us. Why wouldn’t I be honest with you?”
“You didn’t want to tell Fitz enough to follow through. For all I know, you have reasons for not telling me the truth about Harper.”
“You’re throwing in my face the time I was loyal to you against my better judgment?”
“You were loyal to yourself. You didn’t want to look bad. Nobody does.”
“Fine. You want me to look bad? You want me to name all my sins? Lust, lying, anger, selfishness. I’ve been proud and judgmental. I’ve failed to devote the time to God that He deserves. You want me to keep going? I could, but I’m never going to say what you want me to say, because I won’t confess a sin I didn’t commit.”
Adeline retreated to a spot by the foot of the bed. “Maybe too much doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s the timing. I’ve got a lot going on, and so do you.”
“Don’t blame the timing. This might be the only chance I get to take this much time away for years. Between recording, touring, andAudition Room, my schedule’s impossible. I saw an opening, and I took it. Maybe the problem is that you’re afraid because real life isn’t neat and tidy. That’s why you haven’t been living it—because you tried once and it went badly and now you think every imperfection will turn into the same thing.”
