Page 44 of To Bring You Back
Drew said she didn’t need to be ashamed.
The Bible said believers should confess sins.
Telling Tegan the full truth might be a good way to find out what kind of reaction she’d get from everyone else when it got out. She’d also benefit from having an ally who wasn’t surprised when that happened. Plus, confessing it would prove she knew she was a sinner saved by grace, not works, and that she didn’t care who knew it. It’d prove Gannon wrong about her.
Except, he wasn’t wrong. She did care. She pulled a throw pillow onto her lap and picked at it until the movie credits rolled.
This was her chance.
Tegan leaned forward for the remote.
“I slept with Gannon. It wasn’t just a kiss. That’s the part of the story I never told you.”
Tegan sat back without the remote and turned to face her.
“That year he came home for Christmas, and I saw him at that party, and I was engaged to Fitz. That’s why Gannon fired him. That’s why Fitz broke up with me. That’s why …” Her voice cracked, and she watched Tegan without blinking. Her eyes were so wet she didn’t need to.
“I guessed. Whatever happened majorly impacted all three of you, and I couldn’t imagine a little kiss doing the damage that came after.”
The whole ugly truth, and this was the response? “It was that obvious?”
“Not when you talked to me and Drew, but when we talked after.” Tegan shrugged. “Do you feel better now that you said it?”
“Not really. What if the press starts digging and everyone finds out about me and him and Fitz?”
“If you’re worried what people will think, we all make mistakes. Unless you’ve been hiding a lot from me, that’s not how you live now.”
It wasn’t. She worked in a church now. She volunteered all the time. She didn’t date. “I’m not sure Gannon and I can even be friends now.”
Tegan tilted her head. “Is that what you want?”
Adeline’s breath solidified in her lungs. They’d been good friends once, and even in their recent disagreements, he’d proved himself grounded and loyal. So much had changed, but if anything, his best qualities had only gotten better. “I miss him. But with our history, and with Fitz …”
“Fitz is gone, Addie, and your history is forgiven.”
Her fingers tightened around the side of the pillow. “And God’s forgiveness means Fitz doesn’t matter anymore?”
“Fitz matters. He does. But nothing you do will change the past or the fact that he’s gone.”
Nothing would bring him back, as she’d told Gannon when he’d come to see her in the church office. But Gannon’s question haunted her. What if talking about Fitz broughtherback?
She caught herself biting her nails. “Do you think I haven’t been living my life?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Something Gannon said.”
Tegan lowered her gaze and said nothing. Meaning she agreed with him.
Adeline’s hand dropped across the pillow in her lap. “Why haven’t you said anything?”
“I encouraged you to apply for that job.”
“That’s not the same as telling me my life needs an overhaul.”
“Maybe it doesn’t. It’s just … you don’t seem to dream or reach for things. I don’t think I’ve heard you ever say what you want to accomplish—other than paint the house. And maybe, just now, to be friends with Gannon Vaughn.”
The ache to see that happen sank deeper, an anchor she might never be able to haul back up. “Do you think that’s possible?”
