Page 28 of Campus Crush
Abby’s cheeks flushed, and my mind veered in a dangerously dirty direction, imagining making her flush like that for a very different reason.
“Oh, well, she was just down on her luck and having a really bad day. A lot had gone wrong, and everyone experiences that at one point or another. I believe in karma and putting good juju out in the universe.”
She hesitated and then added quietly and almost reluctantly. “My mom taught me that.”
There was a slight catch in her voice, and it made me ache to reach out and touch her, but I didn’t know if she’d appreciate that, so I kept my hands to myself.
“Are you close to your mom?” I asked.
She looked up at me and I didn’t miss the shine in her eyes, although no tears fell.
“My mom died freshman year. It wasn’t a good year.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. It felt weak, but I didn’t know what else to say. I’d never lost anyone close to me before.
“I think she’d be really proud of you,” I added, dipping my head so I could make eye contact with her.
She returned it with a soft smile. “I hope so.” She nibbled her lip and then admitted, “Sometimes I worry she’d be disappointed that I haven’t taken more risks. I attempted to go outside my comfort zone freshman year and go to parties, but then…” Her voice faded and she shrugged.
Then her mom died.
“College parties aren’t really that great. You haven’t been missing much. I partiedwaytoo hard freshman year and I’m not proud of that. It’s easy to go overboard and make choices you wouldn’t otherwise. I think the freedomkind of got to me and I went a little wild.” I grabbed the back of my neck. “I don’t even remember most of it, which is a little embarrassing.”
I don’t know why I just admitted all that. If I was trying to convince her to give me a chance, sharing my mistakes was not the way to do it.
Or maybe it was because when I looked up at her, the stiffness that always seemed to be in her shoulders when I was around dissipated a little, and when she looked at me, it felt like she was seeing me for the first time.
“Foster, I have a confession to make.”
Panic gripped me. Did she know I was BigBear88? “Okay,” I said slowly.
“Um…” She covered her face with her hands. “We made out.”
There was no way I heard her right.
“We what?”
She pulled her hands away from her face and looked completely miserable. “We made out. Freshman year, after we met at a party at the football house.”
I’d partied a lot at The Den—the name given to the football house—especially freshman year when I’d gone a little too wild with my newfound independence.
I stared at her, racking my brain for any memory of kissing Abby. I’d had a few dreams about kissing her since we started tutoring, but was it possible those were rooted in memories that I couldn’t recall unless I was unconscious?
How the fuck could I forget kissing this girl?
“I don’t…I don’t remember that,” I admitted, even as my gut tightened.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were the wrong thing to say. Abby’s expression shuttered, and she turned away, focusing on packing up her bag.
“Abby, I’m sorry,” I said, floundering for how to fix this. “Like I told you before, freshman year is kind of a blur for me. I was drinking way too much, doing a lot of stupid things I’m not proud of.”
“It’s fine,” she said, but her tone made it clear it was anything but fine. “It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”
“Itdoesmatter,” I said, reaching for her hand. She let me take it, but her fingers remained limp in mine. “Please, tell me what happened. I want to understand.”
Was this the reason she had her guard up around me?
She sighed, finally meeting my eyes again. “It was the first big party of the year. Sam, my roommate, dragged me there. I’d had a crush on you since the first week of classes, and I’d had just enough to drink that I actually had the courage to talk to you. One thing led to another, and we ended up making out in your room.”
