Page 72 of Protecting the Boundary
I feel a little lighter as I finish my breakfast and head back to my room to research what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.At some point, I need to go back to Romel’s house to get my stuff out of the guesthouse, but I’d rather wait until his next away game, so I know he won’t be home.
Three days later, I get an unexpected phone call from one of my favorite professors I emailed about a recommendation. “Hi, Dr. Hawes.”
“Hello, Meredith. I was so happy to get your email and hear you’re going to pursue physical therapy. I reached out to a friend of mine who runs the PT program at her university in Boston. I know you said you wanted to stay in California, but she said she’s willing to make some room for you to start in January as a favor to me. She said you’d likely need to take some classes in the summer, maybe two summers, but you could definitely get caught up enough to graduate with everyone else in your class.”
I sit down heavily on my bed. Boston. Could I move that far? I’ve never wanted to leave California or be that far away from my dad, but maybe it would be good for me to spread my wings. I could always move back here after grad school.
While I don’t love the idea of Boston—especially in the winter—I do need a change.
“One more thing,” Dr. Hawes says, pulling me from my thoughts. “She was wondering if you could come out for an interview on Friday.”
“ThisFriday? As in, three days from now?”
“Yeah.” I can practically hear her wince through the phone. “I know it’s short notice?—”
“No, I can do it. I’ll be there.”
I write down all the details and then go out and tell my dad. “Is this crazy?”
He smiles. “It’s an adventure. You’re going to be amazing.”
I hope he’s right.
FORTY-SEVEN
Pulling up to her dad’s house, only one thought keeps repeating itself.I hope I’m not too late.
I’ve had a lot of tough conversations over the last week, and faced a lot of self-reflection. I’m not proud that it took Meredith leaving for me to finally face how I’d let my grief skew my perspective about loving again in the future.
It was ultimately Sydney herself who set me free.
The day after Meredith left, I spent the day locked in my room, finally emptying out Sydney’s closet. Each item of clothing I put into a box felt like a stab in my gut. Some brought back memories of parties we went to, dresses she wore on nights out, her favorite pair of jeans that had a doodle of a flower she did during a lecture once when she was bored.
I was a mess, but I kept going instead of continuing to put it off like I had been since she died. It was when I got to her accessory drawer that I found a letter with my name on it.
I sat on the floor, my back to the rest of the drawers, and stared at my name in her handwriting. It had been so long since I’d seen her delicate scrawl, but it broughtback so many memories. She used to write me little notes before all my games in college.
Why hadn’t she told me this was here waiting for me? How long would it have stayed there if I hadn’t met Meredith and felt the need to finally put Sydney to rest?
With shaking hands, I slid my thumb under the sealed envelope and then pulled out the cream paper. The words blurred together several times as I read her note—and then read it again. It took a third readthrough before they penetrated the thick fog of my grief.
And all at once, the full weight of what I’d lost with Meredith hit me full force.
I spent the rest of the week making a plan, talking to my friends, and scheduling my first appointment with a therapist—because if I’m going to be my best self for Meredith, I need to do the work.
Now I’m here at Meredith’s dad’s house to put my plan into action.
I walk down the path to his front door and knock, my nerves a mess because I have no idea how this is going to go, and I’m not a guy who likes conflict.
The door swings open and Rob stands there, his full body blocking the door and his face in a scowl. I deserve that.
“Is Meredith here?”
“No.”
Well, shit.
“Do you know when she’ll be back?”
