Page 89 of Sexting the Cowboy
“Except Reno.”
That earns a sigh. “Even Reno.”
She hangs up before I can say more. Not surprised. She has even less patience than I do.
I tidy the trailer like it matters. It doesn’t. They’ve seen worse. But I move the ice pack puddle into the sink and throw away the half-empty Styrofoam cups that multiply when you look away. I wipe the table with a clean towel because if your hands are doing something, they can’t shake. The AC coughs and throws cool air down in a thin ribbon that hits the back of my neck and makes me remember I’m alive.
Blaze knocks once and lets herself in with the kind of authority only the youngest earns through charm and audacity. She clocks my face in a glance, then the cleared table, and raises one eyebrow.
“I brought snacks,” she says, holding up a bag of something that crunches in a way that will make me crazy. “And I took Reno’s keys again because I like him alive.”
“Thank you. On both accounts.”
Levi slides in behind her, quiet where she’s bright, wearing his usual armor of a plain T-shirt and a posture that makes him look like he’s resting even when his head is too busy. Cash follows, eyes on all of us, as if he’ll have to supervise.
“Where’s the old man?” Blaze asks, meaning Ford.
“Probably having a conniption after the last thing I said to him.”
“Everything okay?” Cash asks.
“I need to tell you something.” My voice is steady. My ribs don’t feel steady at all. No one interrupts. Even Blaze goes still. “It’s about Annie,” I add, because their faces make me realize I have to pick which truth opens the door to the rest. Probably shouldhave rehearsed this, but I usually do better flying by the seat of my pants.
Except for right now. “And about me. And about…what’s next.”
Levi’s eyes flicker. Cash’s mouth softens. Blaze’s grin is getting ready to deploy.
“I’m seeing her.”Well, I was…
Levi blinks at that. Cash nods once. Blaze’s tone gives her away. “Oh, really? Annie who?”
Levi cuts her with a glance. “You’re gonna play dumbnow?”
“You’re right, I’m too smart for that.” She shrugs. “I knew. Sue me.”
“Back to me, thanks,” I tell them. “It started wrong and then felt right, and I—we—I can’t pretend it didn’t happen, and I don’t want to pretend it wasn’t…good.”
“Okay,” Cash says, first, like he knew and was waiting for me to be the one to confirm it.
Levi’s jaw ticks. “And…what’s next, because you sound like there’s more to it.”
I look at the hat on the table, then at the three faces that make up the part of my world that didn’t leave when the camera trucks did. “She’s pregnant.”
Blaze claps both hands over her mouth and then pulls them away fast. “I knew it!” she says, which is a lie, but she wants it to be true because she’s quick to see where joy can go if you point it right. “I mean, I didn’tknowknow it, but…that’s—Dad, that’s—” She starts crying and laughing in the same breath, wipes at her face like it betrayed her, and then grins so hard she might splither cheek. “I’m no longer the baby in the family! Oh my God, I’m going to be the world’s most inappropriate sister.”
Levi exhales a long, slow line and braces both hands on the counter. “Are you…okay?”
“Yes,” I say, because despite the way today went, that answer is true. “And terrified. Mostly terrified I’ll screw this up before I get to fix the parts I’ve already knocked crooked.”
“Reno,” Cash says, the name a single heavy word. “He’s going to lose it.”
“He already did. He’s been losing it in one way or another for a long time. This isn’t the cause. Me and her is just his latest excuse. When he finds out about the pregnancy…it won’t be pretty. I know that. But at some point, that boy’s gotta grow up.”
Levi’s not happy about it—I can see it in the set of his shoulders—but he doesn’t wear anger as a way to make me feel bad. He’s not Reno. He just holds me in his eyes and waits for me to explain how I’m going to keep from blowing our family up by accident.
“I should have told you sooner. I should have…I don’t know. Been wiser. There’s a lot I should have done. But we’re here now, and I’m telling you because no matter what anyone out there”—I jerk my chin toward the fairground where the speakers never shut up—“thinks I’m supposed to be, I’m going to be exactly three things. The father you can still come to, the man Annie can count on, and the one responsible for not making this harder than it has to be.”
Cash rubs his palms together like he’s cold. “I’m worried about Reno.”
