Page 36 of Wildflower and Whiskey
I downed the last of my whiskey, set the tumbler down with a thud, and stood.
“Fine,” I said, jaw tight. “I’ll go.”
Asher whooped. Eric grinned. Becket just nodded, satisfied.
I was heading home to take a shower. There was no way I was showing up to her door smelling like fish on a barbecue. I took the fastest shower of my life and put on a clean white wifebeater, which I covered in a flannel shirt. Then I put on my nice boxers and a pair of jeans. I slipped my boots back on and made my way across the driveway and over to the stairs that led to the loft. My pulse was hammering in my ears and I kept muttering under my breath, convincing myself this was the right thing to do.
I wanted this. I wanted her. I had wanted her since high school.
And I wasn’t going to hide it anymore. Problem is, I didn’t have a game plan and as I reached the front porch I could only think. . . fuck this, I was going to wing it.
CHAPTER 20
Elyna
The knock rattled through the loft. My breath stuttered, heart hammering against my ribs as I pulled the door open.
Phoenix stood there. His plaid shirt rolled at the sleeves, his broad shoulders crowding the doorway, and his eyes burning with something I hadn’t let myself believe in because it looked like he was staring back at me with the same hunger, frustration, and need I was feeling.
“Elyna,” he said, low and rough. “I can’t do this anymore.”
My lips parted, words caught somewhere between my heart and throat. “Do… what?”
“Pretend.” He took a step inside, kicking the door closed behind him with a final thud. “Pretend I don’t see you. Pretend last week didn’t happen. Pretend I’m not standing in my damn kitchen every night trying not to look up here.” His gaze locked on mine. “I can’t handle you ignoring me anymore.”
My whole body trembled. His words cracked something wide open inside me. “I can’t handle it either.” The words tumbled out of me in one cleansing breath.
For the first time all week, relief crossed his face. It was raw and real, but I still felt an underlying tension, or maybe it was frustration. He took a step closer, until the heat of him pressed into my skin.
“Phoenix, I’m sorry,” I whispered, the words pouring out before I could stop them. “For everything. For high school, for pushing you away, for that kiss, for shutting you out after. For all of it. . .”
“Shh.” His hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth. His voice was steady, certain. “Later. You can tell me later. Right now…” His breath hitched, eyes flicking over me like he was taking me in piece by piece. “Right now, I just need you.”
The apology died on my tongue. The truth rose instead. I nodded, and then his mouth was on mine.
It wasn’t gentle and felt like a claim. He was hot and desperate, and it was the kind of kiss that stripped away everything I’d hidden behind. I fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him closer. Phoenix remained controlled, as he always did, walking me backward, his arms wrapped around me holding me steady. When I felt the backs of my knees press against the edge of the futon in the family room, he lowered me down with a firm hand. He pressed me into the cushions without ever breaking the kiss. His weight followed as he used one arm for support as his other hand slid beneath my shirt, a rough palm burning a path up my ribs. I gasped, and he swallowed it, deepening the kiss until the air was gone from my lungs.
“I tried to stay away,” I confessed against his jaw. “It was safer to keep a distance.”
“Nothing about this feels safe,” he growled, lips at my throat. “But I can’t stop.”
“Don’t.” My nails scraped along the hard muscles of his back. “Don’t stop.”
He pulled back and gazed into my eyes. I felt my lips turn down from the loss of his lips on mine.
“We’re stopping right now if you think this is something you’ll regret,” he said watching me firmly, his dark cobalt eyes staring into me.
I squirmed beneath his stare. “I could never regret you, Phoenix Thorne. I know the man you are. At least the man I think you are. . .” I pinned my eyes shut. “I’ve made so many mistakes,” I murmured.
“Open your eyes, Elyna, look at me,” he insisted as he brushed his thumb along my cheek. “We’ve all made mistakes, but they don’t need to define us.”
“They define me,” I croaked. I almost blurted out Braden’s father just blackmailed me but I swallowed the words, not wanting him to see how messed up my choices had been.
“You were young and alone in that house,” he said, and I knew exactly what he meant. He knew Papa was an alcoholic. He knew I did my best to keep Luc and me together, even when I made other bad choices. “You were just a kid,” he said and his voice broke.
A tear slipped down my cheek. “I can never regret you, Phoenix,” I repeated.
I wiped at the tear and before I could gauge his next move, his lips were on mine, hungry and unrelenting. His hands tugged at the button of my shorts, fumbling only long enough for me to arch my hips and help. The denim slid down, baring more of me to him than I’d let anyone see in a long time. He pulled back just enough to look and his gaze devoured me whole, his breath catching like he wasn’t sure if I was real.
