Page 84 of Exactly What I Needed
He cut me off, quickly stuffing the microphone between my breasts. “Come on, you’ve got to know at least a Paramore song. Or Avril Lavigne? Maybe some Evanescence? I can imagine Sydney listening to that kind of stuff when you guys were growing up.”
I narrowed my gaze and slowly pulled the microphone out from my dress. “I don’t know, Asher. It’s been a long time, and my style isn’t exactly cohesive with that.”
He rolled his eyes as Drake strummed his guitar. The sound reverberated around the stadium, Kieron’s drums echoing with it. They paused as Asher turned his electric guitar on and Jaxon adjusted his bass.
“Just remember some of the things I taught you, and you’ll be fine. You’re talented,” Asher said, stepping away from me. I took a deep breath and placed the microphone in the stand.
“No,” I whispered. “Thank you, though.”
I walked around the microphone stand, ready to jump down from the stage.
“Cosi,” Kieron shouted.
“We need a break from our stuff, and you deserve to have a little spotlight fun too!” Drake added, and I knew that his comment was because I already turned him down on everything else he’d asked.
“Come on, Princess,” Asher seductively said, lowering his voice. I slowly turned around and lifted my gaze to meet his. My heart raced in my chest as I glanced at the lone microphone, waiting. It had been such a longtime since I’d sung front and center. And the last time wasn’t something for fun.
Honestly, other than playing the piano the night of my birthday, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d played music just to play music. It was always about the next composition, the next paycheck for my parents. The next major hit from Duvaldi that was supposed to rock the classical world.
The last time I’d sung just to sing was probably around the time I’d met Sydney. And even then, I’d always remained fairly quiet to try and make sure she never noticed. Though I wondered now if it wouldn’t have mattered because she probably wouldn’t have noticed regardless.
One song, completely different from my classical stuff, wouldn’t hurt. I honestly wanted to put my new skills to the test. And in what better way than singing a classic that Sydney had forced me to listen to all during junior high. I’d never bothered to learn artist names or song titles, but I couldn’t lie that the change of melody was often refreshing.
“Okay, one song,” I finally said and walked back to the microphone.
“If you don’t know the lyrics, Ava and Nova got you.” Asher nodded toward the two girls sitting directly below me. They were holding up an iPad together, lyrics ready on their screen for Paramore’s “Misery Business”. I had no idea what song that was, but I hoped I’d recognize it once the guys started playing.
And they began. (12) The moment the first strum came on the guitar, I knew exactly what the song was. It had been years and years since I’d heard it, but it was like muscle memory, and the words began coming from my mouth. The notes sliding off my tongue with perfection. Almost.
I let go. Instead of forcing myself to be exact with everything, I simply let myself feel the music.
Asher danced up beside me, strumming on his guitar. It was unusual to see him not singing, but I quite enjoyed it. He headbanged beside me while I belted the words. Every fiber in my being transported to a different world.
It felt so good. And he leaned up against the side of me as we hit the bridge and then flew away with the solo. The way his fingers worked across the guitar strings, I desperately watched, wanting them back on my body.
He was exactly what I needed. What I wanted. Coming at the perfect time. Coming out of nowhere, and I was a little upset that I’d fought it for so long.
Singing the last word, I gripped the microphone tightly as my breathing came in sporadic bursts. My eyes remained fixed on the empty seats in the back, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I wondered if this was what they felt, times ten, when there was a crowd supporting them. I’d never had this kind of rush before, the anonymity of my choices causing that. I didn’t regret it, but at the same time, maybe there was an upside to concerts that I’d missed.
A hand slipped around my waist, and a body pressed against my back. I closed my eyes as Asher pulled me into his embrace. Fingers traced across my chest, holding me tightly as tears slid down my cheeks.
Not tears of anger or frustration, but from everything I’d been holding onto. Everything over the past fifteen years that I’d bottled up. It was a release of every ounce of grief, stress, and even happiness that I’d experienced in the shadows of the world.
It was almost as if I were mourning a life that I no longer wanted to live. It was time to move forward, step in a new direction. It was time to finally let myself have the life I had never dared to admit I wanted. A life free of being responsible for something an eleven-year-old should’ve never been burdened with.
While I knew I’d continued to compose my music, I didn’t feel the same pressure to be exactly what everyone else wanted. I could make art my way again.
As I opened my eyes, Asher pressed his lips against my neck and then whispered, “One more?”
I nodded, and he patted my bum before stepping away. Swinging the guitar back around to the front of his body, he nodded at the guys and strummed the first chord to Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi”. (13) This one I knew as well; Sydney had been obsessed with it at the time while she’d also been into a skater boy.
Kieron trilled on his drums, and they were off. I belted out into the microphone, grinning. Even joining in on the jamming on stage. Drake and Jaxon both came and danced beside me, leaning back against each other as Asher flipped them off and then continued to strum.
This was amazing. Absolutely perfect. Ava and Nova were no longer holding the lyrics up; they’d abandoned that long ago and rushed up on stage. Pulling my hair from the bun, I let the locks drape around my shoulders and continued to sing. Nova and Ava jumped up and down beside me.
As my eyes drifted to meet Asher’s, he winked, stuck his tongue out, and continued to rock out on his guitar. Maybe for him, it was fun to havea moment not singing as well. It definitely would give his voice a break after all the rehearsing.
The last few notes played, all too soon, and then the stadium became silent. Only for a moment before Nova and Ava squealed. They crashed into me, gushing about how fun and incredible that was. I looked at both of them in a little bit of awe. They’d only just met me, yet here they were, asking nothing of me but supporting me.
