Page 21 of Exactly What I Needed
“Did you just swear?” Asher gasped.
“Shush. It’s her.” I waved a hand in his direction, ignoring his question. He raised an inquisitive brow, and the corner of his lip twitched upwards. I think he liked that I didn’t look as dirty as I could be.
Answering the call, I put the phone to my ear. “Are you ready to come home?”
A drunken giggle was the first reply before she spoke. “Yesss. Megan is passed out, and her hubby is on his way.”
“Okay, make sure your location is on. See you in a bit,” I replied and then ended the call. Asher’s expression fell as I lifted my eyes to him. “I agreed to be their designated driver.”
I was always their designated driver.
He nodded slowly and took a deep breath. Reaching toward the handlebar, he snagged the helmet off it and stretched it to me. Too quick of a moment slashed by my own inability to just savor things with him. It was silent, much left unspoken as I tugged it over my head, replacing my glasses once it was on, and he buckled it up.
Once he was back to straddling the bike with his own safety gear on, I reached forward and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I felt air fill his body as he turned the bike on. Pressing my chest against his back, I closed my eyes. Disappointed that this adventure was coming to averyunsatisfying and abrupt close.
The engine rumbled, and he carefully merged onto the road, flipping around so we were heading back the way that we came. I didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t explicitly expressed his desire for me, but it wasn’t like he was hiding it either. So now we were drowning in the murky water of uncertainty. Did he actually want to get to know me, or did he simply want me for a different kind of pleasure? I mean, it wasn’t like we’d talked much.
I couldn’t be upset if the latter was the reason; I hadn’t exactly held back in that department. No matter what words I’d spoken to him, Idoubted he believed them. My actions had been the opposite. I wanted it to be more than for that reason, but I knew it couldn’t. I’d already crossed too many lines with him.
With my body pressing tighter against his, he released the handlebar and rested his palm against my thigh. His fingers dug into my leg, brushing his thumb back and forth. We rode in silence, the chill dampened by his body heat.
A tear slipped out, unintentionally, as I closed my eyes, terrified of what was coming. When with him, I forgot about everything else in the world. I forgot that he was some famous rock star. I forgot about Sydney’s claim to him. I forgot that I was a nobody. I forgot about all that I was hiding. I forgot about all the lies. But as we cruised closer to home, all that I’d shut out came crashing back in.
My parents would be here next weekend. Along with Danny. Both of them combined were enough to make a girl die from exhaustion, and what was worse was that I was slowly losing my grip on control. If everything wasn’t perfectly in order when my parents came, I would be toast.
And things weren’t. I was hiding something from my best friend, and it was wearing on me. But it was also exciting.
It was more exciting than anything I’d experienced before. I found it exhilarating to not be thegood girlthat my parents had always expected me to be while growing up. Riding on the back of a motorcycle with a man full of red flags at two in the morning was everything my parents hated and more. I hated how long it had taken me to rebel a little, but I was loving it all too much.
The fact that it would crush Sydney was not lost on me, and I didn’t like that part. I wished that part didn’t come with this. It was the control my parents still held over me that I was escaping from that I craved and loved. I was doing this solely for me. For the first time in my life, I was doing something only for myself.
I loved that my friends accepted me for exactly who I was, introverted and quiet. This escapade wasn’t to ruin that, but this feeling of freedom was intoxicating.
Asher rounded a corner and pulled the motorcycle off to the curb in front of my house. We idled in the driveway for a moment, just soaking things in. Finally, he killed the engine and helped me dismount.
Unbuckling the helmet, I handed it to him as he lifted the visor on his own. Amber eyes watched me intently, a mischievous brow lifted.
“Not again,” I whispered, and he chuckled.
“Right.”
“Goodnight, Asher.”
Sighing, he glanced away from me. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
I furrowed my brows. “Why wouldn’t it be? Like I said before, this would kill my best friend.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t ask what she wanted.”
My phone began to vibrate once more in my pocket. Slipping it out, I glanced at the text notification. Speaking of Sydney…
“Take care,” I muttered and turned around.
“Cosette!” Asher shouted as I walked up the drive. I didn’t turn around to face him, feeling so conflicted. The words that had come out of mymouth hadn’t reflected what I was truly desiring. Truly wanting. I shocked myself with my ability to tell him no again. To ignore him shouting my name right before I shut the front door.
To avoid any sort of questions, I needed to change back into the sweatshirt and shorts I had been wearing. And quickly. Sydney was becoming impatient, and I was risking her finding out that I hadn’t been waiting at home like a good best friend.
Another party, another mansion, another two-in-the-morning pick-up. Parking my car on the roundabout driveway, I stepped out and wrapped the sweatshirt sleeves around my hands. Rising in front of me was a massive brick house; the double oak doors sat between two large chimneys that were all for show. Bass thumped inside, the lights bright and flashing.
