Page 107 of Exactly What I Needed
Something about how the detectives were at the front door. “They found Danny,” Kieron quietly muttered.
Asher’s back tensed as he cracked his neck and tightened his grip on the frame. “And?”
Elysia’s eyes slipped over his shoulder to mine. “Might be best to talk out here?” she offered.
Asher shook his head. “Cosette needs to hear whatever they have to say. Send them in.”
Kieron nodded, and they slipped away from the door. I watched Asher as he walked back to the side of my bed. His eyes were filled with both rage and exhaustion. Dark circles swirled beneath his amber gaze that seemed so dull.
“Asher?” I finally whispered.
His thick brows darted upwards, and he rushed forward, crashing to his knees at the edge of the mattress. “Hey, Princess,” he tenderly replied and raised a shaking hand.
Shadows abruptly filled the doorway, and I shrank away from the man kneeling beside me. The brief moment of hope upon Asher’s face disappeared, then he closed his eyes and pushed himself up to his feet.
The world once again slipped into a haze of nothingness as the detectives explained they arrested Danny last night and got an easy confession from him. There was something mentioned about how they put a warrant out for Sydney and Tera, since, while Danny admitted they didn’t know what he was ultimately going to do, they’d helped set up the kidnapping in order to create a ruse that I’d ghosted Asher and Sydney could ultimately swoop in and be the comforting new girl for him.
The blur upon Asher’s face temporarily slipped away, and I watched all exhaustion be replaced with a nearly uncontrollable, murderous rage. His breaths came in short, sporadic bursts, and he clenched both fists so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Whatever comfort the detectives offered Asher was lost on me as everything disappeared once more. Time became inconsequential, and eventually the room was swallowed into the night. Asher’s snoring beside the bed as he’d fallen asleep sitting on the ground was a distant hum as I fought to remain in the empty cage and away from the reality that held only anguish.
Sunlight filled the room at some point, and this time, Jaxon came to inform Asher that they were scheduled for a studio session—one set by their manager—and there was no getting out of it.
His feet dragged across the carpet, reluctantly following Jaxon out of the room. Asher paused in the doorway and glanced back at me. “The lawyer should be here in a bit to talk about how you want to handle things if this gets out to the public. I’ll have Nova send her back. If you don’t want to be alone with the lawyer, just let Nova or one of the other girls know,” he muttered, hung his head, and slipped out of the room.
I stared at where his broken figure had been long after he left. Even while the lawyer came and began discussing things with me, things I wasn’t quite ready to accept, I studied the ghost of him. A burden had settled over Asher’s shoulders. It seemed like he carried guilt as if somehow he thought he was at fault for what happened. As if he should be able to fix it, but nobody could.
Eventually, the lawyer left, and as the room darkened again, Asher finally showed up. He plopped himself back down on the floor, leaning his head back against the bed and closed his eyes. “I caught the detectives at the door, and they told me that Sydney and Tera were arrested. Thought that might help,” he muttered and then shook his head as a broken smile crossed his face. “I’m so fucking sorry, Cosette. I’m just…”
And silence swallowed us once again.
Days pushed onward, and he would reluctantly leave whenever the band’s manager called, despite canceling upcoming shows for the moment, and Elysia helped keep my job steady. The lawyer would visit nearly every day and talk about my safety and her suggestions on what to do, while I listened, and so far, her methods kept all of this out of the news. Everything she’d advised over the past week had turned out to be true. (23)
So, as I wasted away in bed, her most recent suggestion turned into a nagging voice in my mind. One I’d managed to shove down for these past seven days no longer remained silent. It began to speak. Louder and louder. Repeating words from my lawyer that I had refused to believe. But I was beginning to succumb to its will as I was still numb to everyone and everything around me. That emptiness only left room for every terrifying thought that rambled in my head to come to the forefront.
Staying wasn’t safe. It couldn’t be. Not just for me, but for Asher too.
Danny had money. Sydney had money, and her parents were powerful. My parents had yet to even reach out, but if they really wanted to, they had connections through Sydney’s parents, too.
No matter how hard I fought and wrestled with those thoughts, there was no denying how much danger I was really in. Wherever the paparazzi found Asher, Sydney, Tera, and Danny would know I would be close by. The longer I clung to this part of life and hung around, the more danger that put Asher in.
His reputation was on the line. His fans had already not hesitated to throw me under the bus when they’d caught a few photos of us together—and that was before all this shit. I hated how much I knew that reasoning to be true.
I couldn’t just lie here anymore. I had to accept my fate.
So, I got up. In a daze, I found my way to the closet and dressed. Routine. I needed to establish a routine. Which meant returning to work so I could eventually—
I leaned forward and braced against the edge of the bed as anguish ripped through me. A silent scream rushed from my throat. I had to follow my lawyer’s instructions and disappear. It was the only way. The first step was to go back to work and establish a routine so when I left, no one would notice for hours.
Please, I don’t want to leave him. I can’t hurt him like this,I silently pleaded. But there was no use arguing. The lawyer was once again right. If I wanted to truly keep myself and him safe, I had to let him go. There wasno way I’d be able to heal if I stayed, either. I had to surrender to a life I once again didn’t choose.
The emptiness that had consumed me since the night Danny had raped me, now swirled with heartbreak and fear. But one of those I could swallow if I left. Safety was somewhere else. Safety for Asher. Safety away from Danny. If Danny couldn’t find me, he couldn’t hurt me. If Sydney couldn’t find me, she couldn’t hurt Asher.
My world had shattered around me that night, but now, the glass shards were slicing through the wounds that had barely begun to heal.
Zipping up my dress, I tugged on the clogs that Asher had once teased me about and slipped out of the bedroom. Eyes followed me as I quietly walked past the band and Asher as they ate breakfast. He froze with his half-eaten bagel partway to his mouth. But I kept my gaze forward and passed by without looking at him. If I did, my ability to mask the pain and plan that I had accepted would dissipate.
And I left for work.
