Page 49 of Sergei
I counted the seconds until the fear became unbearable.
But that didn’t stop him from digging his claws deep into my soul.
He became all that he knew.
I carry the ache of scars.
They should send me into darkness,
yet they are the only reminder that I came out alive.
That I can bleed
That I can bruise.
That I can break.
But I will rise.
Not as the woman who suffered in silence and compliance,
But as the woman who will never bow again.
He ranhis hand over the words like they meant something to him, and then sighed, “You know, these are really good. Intense, but they’re good.”
“You think?”
“I do.” He smiled. “The sketches are good, too. You have real talent. You should do something with them. Put them in a gallery or something.”
“I don’t think I could do that.”
“Then, maybe a book or something.” He dropped the pad back down on the sofa. “You could always use a pen name.”
“Maybe.”
He nodded, then let out a breath. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m good.”
“Have Bog call me if that changes.”
“I will.”
With that, Nikolai gave me a wink, then turned and walked out of the apartment, leaving me alone once again. And once again, the hours seemed to drag by. It was another day of trying to keep myself from going crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Nikolai had said about Sergei. It was so hard not knowing what was going on with him.
There was no doubt that his distance had something to do with that kiss. I’d thought he’d wanted me as much as I wanted him, but now, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe he realized he didn’t want me at all. Maybe he regretted it so badly he couldn’t even look at me. Maybe he wished I were gone.
I had no idea what was going on in his head because he wasn’t here. I couldn’t feel him watching me or hear his voice when he talked to me. The thought made my chest ache and frustrated me at the same time.
It was nearly midnight before I heard the front door open and the quiet clink of Sergei’s keys. My heart started to racewhen I heard him start down the hall. I lay there for a minute and stared up at the ceiling as I tried to muster the courage to finally face him.
I had to know why he was distancing himself from me.
I had to know if he wanted me to leave.
There was only one way I was going to find out, and that was to talk to him face to face. It took me a moment, but eventually, I forced myself to toss the covers back and get out of bed. I opened my door and started out into the hallway. It was dark, and I could barely see as I started toward Sergei’s room.
I didn’t get far when my toe caught on something, and before I could steady myself, I went sailing forward. A yelp slipped from my lips as pain shot through my side, sharp and hot, and then my head slammed against something hard.
