Page 44 of Sergei
One by one, those colors grew dim.
Each dream slipped away.
I believed the voices that said I wasn’t enough.
I learned to bow and to obey.
And piece by piece, the girl full of light withered away.
I was leftto wonder if that girl was simply a ghost.
An illusion that was never meant to be.
Or did she still linger, deep within?
Was she still there, waiting for someone to pull her back into the light?
I stared at the words,and for reasons I couldn’t explain, I felt a little lighter. I couldn’t believe it. Getting the words on paper was actually kind of therapeutic. It was almost like I’d taken some of the heaviness out of myself and pinned it on the paper, preventing it from swallowing me whole.
15
SERGEI
It had been almost two weeks since Alek met his untimely demise, and while I was hopefully optimistic, I was still playing it safe. Bog remained at the apartment, and I kept the extra security at the casino. It might’ve been overkill, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
Alina seemed to be weathering it fairly well and had almost slipped into a routine. She’d spend her days sketching and writing by the fire while I tended to things at the casino. I’d cut back on my hours, which Viktor questioned, but I managed to put him off. I knew it was only a matter of time before that would all blow up in my face, but I didn’t care.
I liked being at the apartment, watching Alina as she worked on her creation of the day. I was fascinated by the way her nose would crinkle when she put her pen to paper, and the way her eyes would glisten when she was touched by a memory that she’d tried to put behind her. She’d grow still, think it through, and write it out.
I think the whole writing thing was doing her a lot of good. She seemed to be a little lighter, more open, and I hoped it was a sign that she was coming to terms with everything that she’dbeen through. Either way, she was trying, and that counted for something. Hell, it counted for a lot.
But I could tell that being cooped up all day was starting to get to her. I could see the restlessness in her eyes when she lingered at the windows. She missed the world on the outside, and it was time she got a taste of what she’d been missing.
I stepped into the living room as I announced, “I think it’s time I took you shopping.”
Alina looked up from her sketchbook with her brows drawn like she wasn’t sure she’d heard me right. “Shopping?”
“I know you weren’t able to bring much when you left.” I thought back to the night she’d shown up at the casino. She’d managed to get away with a suitcase that held only a few clothes, and I had bought her some things to wear, but it was getting colder. She was going to need more options, so I added, “I thought you could use some new clothes.”
“I could, but I don’t have enough money for that right now.”
“Money isn’t an issue.”
“But it is,” she argued. “You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t let you buy me more clothes, too.”
“You can, and you will,” I smirked. “We’ll leave tomorrow around lunch. We’ll go to Hot Springs and spend the day shopping and grab dinner on the way back.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Besides, it’s time I got you out of the house,” I scoffed. “You’ve been stuck in here too long. Hell, it’s only a matter of time before you kill me in my sleep.”
“What makes you think I’d wait until you were asleep?” she teased.
“Hey, now. That’s not funny.”
“Surely you aren’t afraid of little ol’ me.”
“Maybe we should leave a little earlier. Right after breakfast?”
