Page 51 of Make Them Cry
No, I’m not okay.
I kissed you in the shadows and then bolted like a coward.
I type out five different replies before I finally settle on the one that won’t give too much away:
ME:Are you?
Her reply is instant.
RIVER:I can’t stop thinking about you.
I groan.
This is torture.
She’s in her room right now, probably curled up with her knees pulled to her chest, still wearing the same hoodie she wore to work today. I know because I saw her walk in wearing it and had to force myself not to stare at how soft she looked.
She thinks she kissed a stranger.
And she doesn’t even realize it was me.
The guy who took her coffee this morning. The guy who hovered in meetings just to make sure no one looked at her sideways. The guy who’s been running firewall patches like a madman and triple-verifying code commits just to keep her safe.
She has no idea how much of her life I’ve touched.
But the thing is… I’ve touched it allcarefully. Ethically. As cleanly as I can.
Until tonight.
Tonight I let her kiss me. I kissed her back. I took something from her—something I’ve wanted for so long I forgot what it felt like not to crave it—but I did it without giving her thetruth.
And that? That’s unforgivable.
I push away from the desk, pacing my apartment like a caged animal.
My phone buzzes again.
RIVER:I want to see you again. I know you said soon, but I need to.
I lean my forehead against the wall.
Sheneedsto.
Hell.
What happens when she finds out the guy helping her behind the screen is the same one watching her across the office?
What happens when she realizes I’ve been splitting myself in two—one part her awkward coworker who pretends not to care, and the other part her masked protector who caresway too much?
I don’t know.
But I’m already in too deep.
And the longer I wait, the harder it gets.
The truth is clawing its way out of me, piece by piece.
The guilt. The longing. The truth that every time she talks to me at work, I’m listening withbothversions of me. That when she asked if we’d met before, it almost broke me. Because her voice was soft and uncertain and toodamnclose to the truth.
