Page 78 of The Dramatic Life of Jonah Penrose
“Why is that so funny?”
“I auditioned for Bobby,” Jonah said, as he continued to laugh. “I was rubbish. Totally rubbish. Went left instead of right. You and your aversion to the right clearly rubbed off on me.”
Dexter allowed himself to laugh as well. “Wait. Really?Youauditioned for Bobby?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know you could tap-dance.”
“I can’t. I mean, I can, but not to that standard.” Jonah wiped a tear from his eye and took a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m so glad you got it. You’re going to be amazing. I can’t wait to come see you in it.”
“You’ll come watch?” Dexter asked, sounding surprised.
“Well, yeah, obviously?” Jonah’s stomach dropped as he took in Dexter’s suddenly subdued expression. “Would you not want me to?”
“I thought that maybe onceThe Wooden Horseis done for us, then that would be it, you know? Working with an ex is one thing, but continuing to be around that person when you no longer need to be might be seen as strange.”
Jonah looked at his hot chocolate, the whipped cream dribbling down the glass in a sticky mess. “I don’t want to be your ex, Dexter.”
“I don’t want you to be my ex, either, but I don’t think you’ve somehow managed to overcome your distrust of me in a couple of weeks. We can’t be together without trust, Jonah. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“Do you trust me?” Jonah asked.
“Yes.”
“Then let me try this again. Please. I’ve let my past experiences havean impact on us, I know that, and I can’t go back and change anything. And, honestly, I never thought I would be sitting here opposite you asking you to be patient with me, because, Dexter, you were a royal dick to me when we first met.”
Dexter grimaced. “I know. I know this isn’t all on you.”
“But we’ve not come this far to let it slip through our fingers. I love you. I meant it when I said that, Dex, and I still mean it now.”
“Is love enough?”
The hot chocolate suddenly turned Jonah’s stomach. He didn’t know what to expect from their conversation, but he hoped they might be able to move past the wall they’d built out of sheer stupidity. But Dexter couldn’t see a way around it, and Jonah feared that no matter how many bricks he pulled from the foundations Dexter would keep putting them back in place. Jonah bit down on his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. Hedidtrust Dexter. He trusted that Dexter loved him, that he would drive six hours in the middle of the night for him, that he’d walk by his side protectively to stop people from hurting him. He wanted to give Dexter his heart and trusted he wouldn’t do anything to hurt it, but Dexter wouldn’t take it.
“We should really be heading to the theatre,” Jonah said, rising from his seat and grabbing his coat from the back of the chair. He looked past Dexter through the large window at the front of the café to see a torrential downpour of rain waiting for him outside.
“Should we get a taxi? We’ll get soaked in that,” Dexter said, picking up his own coat to shrug over his shoulders.
“I’m actually just gonna get the tube, but you get a taxi, seriously. I think I need to just clear my head for a bit.”
“Oh. Okay, yeah, sure,” Dexter said as Jonah’s fight-or-flight mode kicked in again and he walked away, his heart pounding in his chest.
Jonah stepped out into the rain and shivered, the cold air wrapping itself around his body as he walked along the pavement, not caring that his hair was already sticking to his forehead. He thought to himself that if his life was a musical, then now would be the perfect time for a groundbreaking ballad where the orchestra soared as he choked back tears. Only, thiswasn’t a musical. There were no violins, no slow dances, and no lyrics to sing. But then again, that song in a musical would usually signify change, the place where the main character reflected on their journey and found the strength to go on before ending the show with the most outstanding symphony. Perhaps this was Jonah’s turning point; he could easily look back to the beginning of the year and see he wasn’t the same person he was back then; he had been in a relationship based on lies, performing night after night without realizing he could be more than just the role he thought he didn’t deserve. Because he did deserve it. Even now, knowing Stephen pulled Dexter from the running, he knew he earned Achilles, and a part of him believed that even if Dexter hadn’t been screwed over by his agent, he would have still beat him out for the role.
Because Jonah was bloody good at his job. He could sing the socks off most people, he could dance, though maybe tap wasn’t his forte, and he could act; he knew he could make people laugh and cry with the way he delivered his lines, and he could sleep well knowing he excelled in those things. And maybe he really should have realized this before; maybe it would have saved his relationship, or maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe he and Dexter were always meant to crash and burn as quickly as their flame ignited. But, for now, love wasn’t enough, and Jonah needed to accept that and move on, even if moving on from Dexter Ellis seemed like an impossible task. He needed to try.
Thirty-One
“You are blinding, like the sun.”
—“Eternity,”The Wooden Horse, Act Two
Jonah woke to the sound of something tapping against his window. At first, he ignored it, figuring it could only be overly confident droplets of rain, and he allowed himself to drift back to sleep. Only, the tapping didn’t stop. When the taps became harder and more frequent, he resigned himself to the fact someone was trying to break into his house and he was too tired to care or do anything about it. They could take whatever they wanted as long as they didn’t take his duvet and they let him sleep. It wasn’t as if his drawers were filled with Piniquo clothes and designer shoes. But whoever was trying to break into his house was clearly doing a terrible job of it; they didn’t break into any doors, and the tapping continued relentlessly until Jonah let out an angry groan and got out of bed, plodding toward the window with his duvet wrapped around himself.
The streetlights on Castle Road were out, indicating the unsociable hour, but even in the darkness Jonah could see the heavy sheets of rain pounding onto the road below. And there, on the pavement outside his front door, stood his potential thief. Jonah cracked open the window as a stone flew up and just missed his face. He swore under his breath and leaned his head out, the rain flocking to dance in his curls, peering down at the person below who looked up at him with wide eyes.
Dexter.
