Page 71 of My Roommate from Hell
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” he says. “You invited him to game night?”
“He’s been better lately.”
His eyes drill into me, trying to uncover the truth.
“He’s a good person,” I say. “Good demon, whatever. He’s just been spoiled his whole life. It was maybe unfair of me to expect he’d know how to be a good roommate right away.”
“I don’t know. Zarmenus is important, sure, and I know a player when I see one. Trust me, I dated three of them in high school.”
He puts air quotes around the word “dated.” Tyrell steps closer.
“Is this because of your crush?”
“Oh, sorry!” says Madison, who just walked into the kitchen with Zarmenus on her arm. Their presence ends our conversation. I feel a weird stab of jealousy at the two of them being so close. I’m going to have to unpack that emotion later, because damn. I am only his fake boyfriend, I shouldn’t be jealous about him getting close to anyone. “Hope we’re not interrupting.”
“You’re not,” says Tyrell, taking a step back from me.
“Ugh, just when I thought something dramatic was happening,” she says. “You two look cute together.”
“I have a boyfriend,” says Tyrell. “You know that, right?”
“I may have forgotten. Awkward. Anyway, would either of you like a drink? I’m making Zarmenus try Fireball. Can you believe he’s never tried it?”
We both decline, and Tyrell and I go back to the living room. Madison’s girlfriend, whose name I can’t recall, is now sitting at the dining table by herself, packing up the card game. What is her name? It’sEsomething? I know she lives with Madison and one other person, and that she and Madison first met during cheerleading tryouts their freshmen year. Her name is a complete blank, though.
“Join,” she offers, and I sit next to her. “Not drinking tonight?”
“Still deciding.”
Zarmenus and Madison join us next. Zarmenus sips his drink.
“What do you think?” I ask.
“It’s delicious,” he says. “Much better than the poisons I’m used to.”
He offers me his drink, and I take a sip. It is quite nice, as far as alcoholic drinks go.
“Do people play board games in Hell?” asks Madison.
“Sometimes,” he says. “They’re not as popular as they are here, though.”
“Oh, they’re not that popular,” says Madison. “We’re just huge nerds.”
To the side of the living room is a bookshelf filled with board games. I know these hobby-type ones aren’t cheap, because I wanted to buy one for my family after seeing it recommended online. They must’ve spent an absolute fortune on these games. It’s hard to know for sure, but Madison gives off old-money vibes which could explain it.
“I know what you’re thinking,” says Madison. “It’s excessive. In my defense, I always ask my parents for games as gifts, and Evie had a big collection before we started dating, so when we put them together the result was this.”
Evie, that’s her name!
“Would you like to pick the first game, Zarmenus?” asks Madison. “Just not Monopoly, it causes too many fights.”
“It’s only fun for the people who win,” says Evie. “Like capitalism.”
Madison laughs and rubs her girlfriend’s arm.
“Is there a game where I can murder everyone?” asks Zarmenus.
