Page 56 of My Roommate from Hell
“You can tell him,” says Zarmenus. “It was when I came out of the shower in just a towel, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, acting bashful.
“And after that we…”
“Please!” says Maleilius. “Spare me the details. But what about your fight last night? It seemed quite heated.”
“Lovers’ quarrel,” says Zarmenus. It’s scary how good of a liar he is. Even though what he’s saying is a complete fabrication, I still find myself somewhat believing him. “But Owen set me straight and I couldn’t be happier.”
“Ah, young love,” says Maleilius. “I remember when I first fell for your mother. It was on a school excursion to the skeleton sands, and she looked so hideous among all the bones.” He lets out a sigh. “Well, this is an unexpected, but joyous, twist of fate. Would the twoof you be open to a photo shoot? I could speak to my connections atVogue,I’m sure they’d be interested. Or we could tryTMZ,I know a lot of people who work there. In any case, going public with this would be a good distraction from your recent activities, Zarmenus.”
“It’s still new,” says Zarmenus. “We do want to tell people, but we’d prefer to keep this to ourselves for now.”
Maleilius stops pacing. “I understand, and I do wish I could give the two of you that. But with your actions being the way they have been, the tide is shifting against us, and we need to act quickly before public opinion is set in stone. How about the end of the week?”
“Two would be better,” says Zarmenus.
“A week and a half is the most I can give you. That would be next Wednesday. Perfect! I’ll set everything up.”
“Wait,” I say, and the energy in the room comes to a screeching halt. This is moving so quickly, and I need to stop it. I am not Zarmenus’s boyfriend, and I’m not going to go talk to freakingVogueorTMZabout being in a relationship with him. As scary as it is, I need to tell Maleilius the truth right now before this gets totally out of hand, if we aren’t there already.
A voice rings through my head. It’s Zarmenus’s, clear as day.
Please,he says.Just keep this going until Dad leaves. I’ll make it better then but please, don’t tell him.
The tone of his voice is so fragile, so desperate. I can’t betray him. I just can’t. Not when he sounds so down.
“Could we tryRolling Stone?” I suggest. “I know they mostly cover music but they’re my favorite.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” says Maleilius. He checks his watch. “I have to go, but I am very happy for the two of you. You’re a great couple, I can tell.”
Maleilius shakes my hand. His skin burns as hot as Zarmenus’s, but his grip is soft and his eyes are kind. Then he gives Zarmenus a hug that reads as more than slightly awkward.
“I knew you’d find love here,” he says. “I knew it.”
As soon as Maleilius disappears through a portal, I turn to my roommate. He’s shoved his hands in his pockets and is rockingback on his heels, as if he’s the picture of perfect innocence. Which he’s not.
“What the hell!” I say, my voice nearly a shout. “Why did you—”
“Shh,” he says, stepping closer and clamping his hand over my mouth. His palm is burning hot. I go quiet. In his eyes is an unmissable desperation, and I feel bad for him. “He can hear us.”
It terrifies me for a moment, and then I figure it must have to do with heightened demonic hearing.
“Okay,” says Zarmenus, his hand falling from my mouth. He stays infuriatingly close. “We should be safe to talk now. He was spying on us for a second.”
“How can you tell?” I ask, taking a step away from him. It’s like moving away from a heater.
“I can sense him,” he says. “I’ve only ever felt it on Earth. But when another demon is nearby, I know.”
“Huh,” I say. I’m not completely sold that he is telling me the truth. I mean, he flat-out lied to his father with no difficulty at all. How can I believe a single word out of his mouth? I cross my arms.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
Where do I even start?
“You said that we’re boyfriends,” I say. Even though he’s said that his father can no longer hear us, and even though I don’t really know why I should bother trying to keep this quiet, I keep my voice down. “We’re not boyfriends. We’re not even dating!”
There’s a siren going off in my mind with the word “boyfriends” repeated over and over.
