Page 55 of My Roommate from Hell
“Look at Owen,” says Maleilius. “Look how good he is. Why can’t you be more like him?”
I try to make myself as small as possible.
“Speaking of Owen,” says Zarmenus. “I have some news.”
Maleilius’s eyebrows knit together.
“I didn’t think I’d tell you like this,” says Zarmenus. “But I actually have settled down. As of last night, in fact.”
“Oh?”
Zarmenus rises from his bed and walks over to the couch. He sits down beside me, leaving practically no space between us. I go completely still. We’ve never been this close. The air around him is hotter than normal, like he’s radiating dry heat. I want to move away, but surprise—and the careful, skeptical stare of the king of Hell—keeps me locked into place. What is he doing? Why is he roping me into this? God, I really should’ve switched rooms. Even if I’d had a terrible roommate then, I doubt they would rope me into whatever it is that Zarmenus has planned. Not that it even seems like he does have a plan. It seems to me like he’s scrambling for some sort of way to take the heat off himself.
“I should saywehave news.”
Zarmenus puts his hand on my leg, right above my knee. His palm feels burning hot even through my pants. He squeezes, acting like this is something he does all the time.
“Dad, Owen isn’t just my roommate. Not anymore.”
I don’t like where he’s going with this. I don’t like it one bit.
“He’s also my boyfriend.”
PART TWOWHAT THE HELL
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I’ve never been this stunned in my entire life.
Even seeing the trio of demons in my room on the day I moved in instead of Rohit pales in comparison. Did Zarmenus just say I’m his boyfriend? This has to be some other horror that’s fallen upon our room. Have we been unknowingly transported into some nightmare dimension? That somehow seems more plausible than what is going on.
“What!” says Maleilius, clearly delighted by this revelation. “That’s excellent news! Tell me everything!”
Maleilius turns to me, his face shifting from the anger he showed before back to his original cheery self. Okay, so Zarmenus is not leading the charge on this one; I’m expected to answer this question.
The problem is I don’t know what’s going on. Clearly Zarmenus was worried about his Dad being mad at him, so he’s told him that he’s in a relationship with me to deflect and distract. But this is already an incredibly flimsy lie. Last night we had a huge, public fight.
And now we’re supposed to be boyfriends?
“I,” I say. The only thing keeping me from just straight up telling Maleilius his son is lying is that he is the king of Hell and, for whatever reason, he is clearly quite pleased with this development. His entire demeanor has shifted, and the darkness has left his eyes,making him seem much more like the jovial demon I met when I first moved in. With all this going through my head, I barely even have time to think about what to say. “Um.”
“He’s nervous,” says Zarmenus. “You’re so cute, babe. You don’t have to be scared, Dad’s supportive. You can tell him.”
Tell him what, exactly? And did he seriously just call me “babe”?
“It just sort of happened,” I say. “It surprised me more than anyone.”
“It always does,” says Maleilius. “Oh, Zarmenus, this is incredible! Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
“I was waiting for the right time.”
“This is brilliant. Oh, it fixes everything. What better way to show people that we can coexist than with a love story!” Maleilius starts pacing around the room, his mind clearly elsewhere. “Not that the two of you are together solely for that. Lysteria sensed how attracted the two of you were to each other when you first met.”
Wait, what? Is Zarmenus actually attracted to me? Or is that something he’s just saying?
“Owen, when did you first realize you liked my son?”
“Um, right away, I guess,” I say. “I just took me a while to work up the courage to admit that to myself.”
