Page 19 of My Roommate from Hell
“They’re not really my scene.”
“Damn it! Sorry, roomie, I need to concentrate.”
I pull my covers back over my head.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“What about your roommate?”
I slowly open my eyes, and it takes me a second to realize I’m not in my bedroom at home; I’m in my dorm, because I moved out yesterday. A dorm I share with Zarmenus, the prince of Hell, who seems to have finally come home from the party he went to earlier. Given how dark the room is, it’s clearly well into the night, and Zarmenus has finally returned.
Only he’s not alone. I can tell by the other voice the person he’s brought back is a guy. It’s late, probably around two in the morning. Why did he bring a random guy back here?
Then it clicks, with dawning horror.
Oh no.
“I think he’s asleep,” says Zarmenus. He’s lowered his voice to a whisper, but he’s not exactly quiet. “Don’t worry about him.”
There’s a thumping sound, and for a moment I’m worried the two are fighting. My eyes adjust to the darkness just enough for me to realize what’s happening.
They’re making out.
I slam my eyes shut. Asleep. I am meant to be asleep. But oh God, are they about to have sex? Am I going to have to pretend to be asleep while they have sex? Am I going to hear them?
I’ve seen make-outs before, mostly at parties, and they alwaysseemed messy. This feels different, even if I am only a totally unwilling semi-witness. They are going at each other with a kind of animal-like ferocity. It’s as if they simply can’t contain themselves. And they’re so. Freaking. Loud. It’s like they’re not even trying to keep this a secret.
I hear mattress springs squeak.
“Yeah, keep doing that.”
“With pleasure.”
I wish I had the ability to magically transport myself somewhere, anywhere, else.
Suddenly the room goes quiet.
“You sure this is okay?” asks Zarmenus’s date. “I’m pretty sure your roommate is awake.”
How does he know? I haven’t moved, I haven’t opened my eyes. How does one act when they’re supposed to be asleep? Should I fake snore? It might be worth a shot, but at the same time I have never been a good actor, and trying my luck now seems risky as hell.
“Owen?” asks Zarmenus. “You awake, buddy?”
I am not answering. Nothing could ever make me.
“See?” says Zarmenus. “He’s asleep, it’s fine.”
Clearly Zarmenus’s hotness is enough to destroy any worries about my presence, as they return to their make-out session. I hadn’t realized that kissing could be so loud. It’s a wet, lip-smacking sound that isn’t all that hot given the context.
For them, I’m sure it’s amazing.
For me, less so.
I’m glad he’s having a good time. I really am.
This is still torture.
I try everything I can think of to fall asleep. I still don’t want to say anything to disturb them because it’s not like I’m shaming them for hooking up or anything. I’m sex positive; I think it’s great. People should have as much sex as they want and not be judged for it. I just don’t want to be here when two other people are doing it. At least the pair don’t seem to be going any further than making out.
