Page 136 of My Roommate from Hell
“Sorry to tell you, but that’s life,” she says. “You think I’m not freaking out about becoming a mom? If I mess up I could ruin my kid. And it’s not like I’ve been prepared for this. Everyone else my age is going to college or getting a job and learning and growing and to be honest, a lot of the time I don’t feel in any way ready. But I do know I’m going to try as hard as I possibly can, because I know if I don’t, then I’ll fail by default.”
She’s right, like always.
“There’s, like, this part of me,” I say, “that doesn’t even want to like him. We had a plan, and us actually liking each other messes everything up.”
“Do you think my life now is what I expected? It’s not. I expected to be at Point, with you. But if I spent all my time thinking about how things could be different, I’d miss everything good about my life now. Things change all the time, and I truly believe the people that succeed in life are the ones who take the cards they’re dealt and adapt.”
What she said hits deep. I was expecting a pep talk, one that would give me enough confidence to talk to Zarmenus. But she’s right. I have been holding myself back, for fear of failing. I don’t have to be frozen by the fear of not knowing the outcome, or worried that this wasn’t part of the plan. I don’t have to be held back by anything. And even if things don’t go exactly the way I thought they would, they can still be amazing.
Hell, sometimes the best things are unexpected.
Like Zarmenus.
“Do you truly like him?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say. “I think I might like him more than any of my other crushes. It’s different, somehow.”
“Then you should tell him. You’ll always regret it if you don’t.”
“I know. I will.”
“Finally!” she says. “Go, tell him everything. This is so exciting. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
She ends the call, and I take a moment to look around Point once more. I know this is the right move. Even though it’s still terrifying to put myself out there, I actually want to.
I might not have expected my roommate to be a guy from Hell. I might never have expected to develop true feelings for him.
None of this was the plan. I still might fail.
But I’m going to try anyway.
I text Zarmenus:
Hey, can we talk?
I’m going to tell him everything. At least then I’ll know that I gave it my best shot. If I fail, so be it.
The risk is worth it.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
A knock sounds on our door.
Is it him?
My plan, at least so far, has not worked out. Zarmenus hasn’t read any of the check-in messages I’ve sent him, nor has he come back to our room. As I cross the carpet my heart starts pounding. I’m still going to tell him how I feel. I know it’s the right thing to do, even if I fall on my face and nothing comes of it. That confidence doesn’t mean I’m immune to the unpleasant plummeting feeling in my stomach.
I pull open the door, expecting it to be him. It’s not. It’s Tyrell, Avery, Madison, and Evie. Each one of them is dressed up as either an angel or a demon, which reminds me about the dance.
It starts in half an hour, but I’m not even sure I’m going to go. It’s where Zarmenus and I were planning on breaking up, which would be impossible at the moment as I have no idea where he is.
The four of them let themselves into our room. Tyrell is holding a full shopping bag that contains a pair of costume angel wings.
“I knew you wouldn’t dress up,” says Tyrell. “Luckily for you, I’ve got you covered.”
Tyrell and Madison both decided to dress up like demons. Madison’s makeup is incredible, and she’s holding a plastic devil’s pitchfork covered in glittering rhinestones. Tyrell also looks amazing in a redcorset that leaves his glitter-dusted shoulders exposed. Evie is wearing a white angel costume and has glitter and gemstones around her eyes. I’d never say this, but Avery blows them out of the water. He’s in full angel drag, including a pair of giant wings.
