Page 115 of My Roommate from Hell
“I can’t help it,” says Maleilius. “It’s always fun seeing the way humans react.”
He turns to me.
“Um, the drive was amazing,” I say. “The car was so nice.”
“You should see a fire chariot.”
I look at Zarmenus, and he laughs to himself.
“What?” asks Maleilius. “Am I missing something?”
“I said the same thing,” says Zarmenus.
“What’s that human saying about great minds?” asks Maleilius. “Owen, do you know it?”
“Do you mean ‘great minds think alike’?”
“That’s the one! Oh, brilliant. I must say, you humans do truly have a horrendous way with words.”
Zarmenus glares at him.
I want to concentrate on the conversation, but my focus keeps getting pulled to the walls. I know I’m not imagining it, they are stretching before my very eyes.
“Is something wrong?” ask Lysteria, her eyes locked onto me. I think about admitting it, but I know why this must be happening. Being around Zarmenus is enough to make strange things happen. It makes sense that being around three demons would multiply that effect.
“No,” I say, swallowing hard.
“Oh, are you worried about the walls?” asks Maleilius. “It’s just reality warping. Nothing to be worried about.”
I disagree, that very much sounds like something to be worried about. Zarmenus pulls out a chair for me, and I sit down. There’s a leather-bound menu beside a set of expensive-looking plates and cutlery.
Zarmenus puts his hand on my leg reassuringly.
“How was your trip here?” asks Zarmenus.
“Quite dull, if I’m being honest,” says Lysteria. “People are all so polite, and I haven’t seen blood in hours. I don’t know how you stomach it, Owen. Don’t you find it all dreadfully boring?”
“Mom,” says Zarmenus. “Please try to be civil.”
“I think you should let him answer,” says Maleilius, as a waiter comes to the table and sets down a basket of bread. They seem human, and they must’ve been briefed on the walls changing, as they don’t seem to care that the room is now radically different from how it looked only moments ago.
“I don’t like blood,” I say. “It makes me feel queasy.”
“Blood makes you queasy and you are dating the prince of Hell?”
“Mom!” says Zarmenus.
“So what do you do for fun,” interjects Maleilius.
“I like video games,” I say. “And books. And hanging out with my friends.”
“Howrespectable.”
“Mom,” growls Zarmenus.
“I didn’t say anything!” she says. “He must really like you, Owen. I’ve never seen him this fractious.”
The waiter reenters the room. “Can I get you started with some drinks?”
