Page 79 of The Love Interest
“Next!” calls a man in blue overalls. We pay at the booth, then walk toward the carriage. I climb in first and sit down on the wooden bench. Dyl sits down beside me, closer than he needs to. I guess it’d be pretty hard to explain this away as a coincidence, but oh well, it’s too late now. The small booth rocks forward, then swings back. I grip the railing tight, and my sweaty palms cool against the metal.
Dyl laughs. “You look so scared, man. Have you ever been on one of these?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
Caden, what the hell are you doing? I left for a while and now I’m back and you’re doing this? Why? Don’t you know that this looks a hell of a lot like a date?
So what if it is, Kaylee?
Talk to me like that again and I’ll…
He’s dying, and he wants to do this with me. Once he’s gone I promise I’ll be a perfect Love Interest. But right now, I need to be here for him.
He could be trying to get pictures of you together or… It’s wrong, Caden. On so many levels. You shouldn’t be doing this with him.
Well, I am, Kaylee. Sorry.
I can’t be here for this. Just know that I think you’re being an idiot. A massive idiot.
Dyl is staring at me. Like always, it settles me, deluding me into thinking everything is okay even though all the evidence points to the contrary. “Kaylee?”
“Yep. She thinks I’m stupid for doing this with you.”
“Doyoufeel stupid for doing it?”
Our feet lift up off the ground.
I shake my head.
We lift higher into the air and I grip the railing tighter. The crowd shrinks, and then is replaced by the horizon. In the distance are the lights of the town, but there’s also an awful lot of navy sky.
“It’s beautiful,” he says.
The carriage steadies, and suddenly it isn’t so scary. I move one hand to rest on the seat between us. His eyes move down and focus on it, and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. He seems nervous, like he’s unsure what to do now that we’re so close. I instantly know he isn’t going to make a move, but fuck that, we’re here, and I want this moment to be something more than it currently is. I guess that’s the problem with Dyl: what we have now isn’t enough for me. I all caps WANT MORE.
“You know,” I say. My voice is shaking. “You and I, we’re pretty close. Maybe we’re not in love, but we’re close, right?”
“Sure. What’s your point?”
“If you want to hold hands with someone, I’ll hold your hand.”
“So you’ll take that bullet?”
“Gladly. Seriously, Dyl, you’ve shown me so many cool things, so if there’s anything I can do for you tonight, I’d like to do it. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to try it. So are you going to hold my hand or not?”
He moves his hand across.
And places it on top of mine.
I flip my hand so our palms are touching. His skin is rough, yet his grip is soft. Our eyes meet as our fingers intertwine, and he smiles like I told a joke. And that makes me smile as well.
I’ve kissed him.
But this feels closer.
The Ferris wheel keeps moving up and the moon gets bigger and bigger and the whole thing feels like it’s never going to stop rising.
But I’m smarter than my feelings are.
