Page 58 of The Love Interest
It’s Juliet.
I look at her. She’s staring at me from over his bare shoulder. He’s not even looking at me; he’s still kissing her neck. Why isn’t he looking at me? Surely he’s thinking about how this would make me feel. All I can see is the rippling movement of his back muscles as he moves his hands up to her face, and the dark strands of his hair. He pulls away from her neck, giving me a glimpse of his face. His mouth is hanging open and his eyelids are drooping slightly.
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and swing the door open. Outside is a long corridor. It’s empty, and most of the streamers that used to hang from the ceiling have fallen and now lie on the floor. Everything is still.
And the Academy Award goes to Caden Walker! Man, you looked so hurt!
I splutter as the tears turn into a full-on sob.
I am hurt! He was kissing her! I’m dead, Kaylee.
Oh.
I burst through the doors into the crisp night air. Through watery eyes I look up and notice the moon is nearly full, casting a silver glow over the parking lot. Suddenly woozy, I make my way back to the building. There, I press my back against the brick wall and try to take in a deep breath, but all I get is a shuddery gasp.
They picked each other over me.
So I’m going to die.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
I’m lying on my bed on top of my blankets with my hands resting on my stomach, thinking about the two most important kisses of my life. First, the night I kissed Dyl. Second, Dyl kissing Juliet. No matter what I try to do I can’t get the images out of my head. My legs are crossed, so my left ankle sits atop my right. Cool fall air is blowing through my open window.
My iPod is resting on my chest. I’m listening toHot Fuss, the album Dyl and I listened to in the car. The songs are all sort of romantic, but they aren’t love songs; they’re too angry and tinged with sadness for that. Still, I can’t help but think that Dyl deliberately picked this album for us to listen to. Did he hear these songs and think of me? Or did he just like it?
One of the songs, called “Andy, You’re a Star,” is pretty clearly about a crush that the lead singer has on another guy. That song, that inclusion, is the one I can’t shake from my mind, and it’s the song I’ve listened to more than any other. Surely Dyl would know the meaning of it. I mean, we kissed, and he seemed to really like it, so there’s a pretty decent chance he’s a little bit gay or bi. A straight guy couldn’t kiss me the way that he did.
Caden, are you awake?
I sit up and pull my earbuds from my ears. How long was Kaylee listening in? Or, more important, what does she now know about me? I should stop spending all my time thinking about Dyl, but it’s not like I can control it. If I could get rid of the thoughts, I would. So she probably now knows what I think about him, but I’m not going to be the one who startsthatconversation. If she wants to talk about it, then I’d have to do it, but for now she seems to be content pretending my feelings don’t exist, and that’s fine with me.
Yeah, I am.
Good. It’s not over yet. Get dressed.
Why? It’s done. She kissed him. I’m dead.
Stop being melodramatic—she’s not even with him anymore. You can go and talk to her. Oh, and don’t wear a jacket. I’ve made you a set piece. I rigged the top of the lookout, so wait for my instructions and then do everything I say. If you do that, she’ll forget about Dyl. Trust me.
I almost laugh. Since when is trusting someone that easy? I turn and glance out my window. Strong wind is pummeling the trees, and the air smells like rain.
I stand up. Dyl isn’t giving up. He’s still playing this awful game. Even after we kissed, he still wants me to die. After everything he’s said to me, every moment we’ve shared, he hasn’t changed his mind. Am I going to let him kill me? No fucking way. If I lose, it’ll be because of Juliet. Dyl willneveroutplay me.
I pull on a gray shirt and a pair of skinny chinos. Then socks and my black Chucks. The mud from the walk to the shed is still dried onto the soles. I bang them together to dislodge as much of the muck as possible, then I creep through the house and walk outside. I stop on the sidewalk overlooking the paddock. The cows are on the ground, their heads curled inward. Only one is still upright.
What now, Kaylee? I’ll do whatever you need.
Walk all the way down the street. Then up the hill, to the lookout.
I walk on the sidewalk, past the place where we were mugged, until I reach the hill. I climb over the closed gate, ignoring theCLOSED AFTER 6 P.M.sign. A paved pathway cuts through the forest, going straight up the hill. The forest itself is still, just a lot of leafless trees, fallen logs covered in fuzzy green moss, and mountains of brown and yellow mulch. The path up is steep, and my legs start to burn.
When I reach the top, I’m above the town. It stretches out in front of me, glittering golden against the navy sky. A small raised box is embedded in the top of the cliff face: a lookout.
Juliet is leaning against the railing, looking out at the town. She’s leaning forward, with her arms bent and her head in her hands.
Tell her you’re here. Don’t scare her.
