Page 1 of The Marriage Narrative
Chapter 1
Zinnia
“Waiting around forthe love of my life to show up has gotten me nowhere. That’s why this year I plan to marry a complete stranger.” Zinnia smiled as she clicked the next slide of her presentation. “Well, near complete. I’m imposing a mandatory thirty-day cohabitation period between the first date and the wedding.”
“Hold on—time out. What the hell is this?” Zinnia’s best friend Fiona gestured at the TV screen. She was sitting on their couch next to their other best friend, Grace, who looked equally bamboozled. “I thought we were having a business meeting about the shop.”
Zinnia never said that. She’d scheduled the meeting by blocking off an hour on their shared calendar with a simple request:Please keep an open mind!The last time she’d done that, she’d asked for help with setting up an online merchandise store to sell her art—a request that had led to the birth of their small business, ZnO2.
“This is my marriage-merger proposal, so it’s business related.” Her confident smile wilted into a wince. “Sort of. In a way.”
“Marriage-merger?”Grace asked.
“Z is obviously joking.” Fiona’s breathy laugh sounded anything but sure. “This is a joke. Right?”
“Wrong.” She hadn’t spent two days making this presentation for nothing. “Step one: I make a proposal profile on a dating app targeted toward people specifically seeking long-term relationships. I’ll clearly state my intentions and requirements, which include having a career with a stable job. Trades preferred, but a desk job is acceptable depending on what it is.”
Each step of her plan had its own fantastically designed slide, complete with animation and custom doodles. Her cartoon avatar alternated between winking and holding up a peace sign.
“Two: an introductory call closely followed by an in-person meeting at a safe location. Three: set a wedding date no more than thirty days out. Four: make arrangements to move in together while simultaneously spending alternating weeks at each other’s primary place of residence. Five—”
“No.” Fiona began shaking her head. Her newly dyed honey cinnamon–colored curls bounced around her shoulders. “Nonono nonononono. No.”
Zinnia sighed fondly. “Just saying ‘no’ isn’t constructive feedback. It’s barely coherent.”
“What she means is HELL NO. They are not moving in here because you are not doing this.” Grace’s death stare could blow up a planet. She was gorgeous in a way that inspired longing and fear in the hearts of mortals—a brown-skinned deity ready to dole out a heaping dose of wrath. “I’ve never even seen you go on a date! You’ve never even wanted to!”
“And that’s why I’m calling themmeetings. Using the correct terminology is very important for this project,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood, and when it didn’t work, she sighed again. Less fondly, more frustrated. “What is so bad about leading withwhat I want? Dating apps havedocumentedabysmal success rates as it is. It’s in my best interests to be up-front and transparent.”
“It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just…why? Where did this come from? Youcan’tmarry a stranger in thirty days.” Fiona looked as distraught as Grace did furious. With her panicked wide-set eyes and pale flushed skin, she resembled a woodland fairy sprinting away from danger.
“I can and I will. People do it all the time.”
“Yeah, and they end up divorced or murdered for the insurance money,” Grace snapped.
“Both excellent points. Five: negotiate the prenuptial agreement.” She continued with the next slide. “In the event of divorce, we will each keep the assets we initially brought to the marriage. Anything acquired while together will be split evenly. Additionally, you two will both be listed as the sole beneficiaries for one of my life insurance policies, and my parents will be on the other. In the event of my untimely death, my future spouse won’t get a dime.”
“Oh, good.” Grace’s tone was pure sarcastic fury. “We’ll need that money to flee the country before we get arrested for murder after avenging you.”
“That’sexactlywhat I was thinking. See? I have it all planned out.”
“I can’t breathe.” Fiona wheezed, folded in half, and stuck her head between her knees. Grace immediately began rubbing her back and speaking in low, soothing tones to coax her into calming down.
Zinnia bit her lip and forced herself not to turn away from the truth that was once again punching her in the stomach. Watching her best friends tiptoe around each other, obviously in love and both unwilling to make the first move, was the answer to Fiona’swhy. She was not being left behind. Their impending domestic bliss as they moved from friends to lovers to newlyweds to parents was inevitable and she’d be good goddamned if they wholesomely turned her into a third wheel.
The three of them did everything together. From the very beginning, their friendship had always been like that saying:If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?Zinnia’s answer was a resounding yes. Off the bridge. Over the cliff.Thelma and Louise–style all the way down. If they were partnering up, then so was she.
“This is good for me.” She moved on to the next slide, filled with wedding images and screenshots from dating shows stretching back fifty years. “Everyone doesn’t have to walk the same path. Arranged marriages of convenience exist for a reason. People, cultures, executive producers all over the world believe in it. Being uncommon doesn’t mean it won’t work. Besides, it’s not like I have to say yes to the first person who applies. I’m notdesperate. I just want somethingdifferent.”
“But why does it have to be thirty days?” Fiona asked. “Why not wait until you’ve known them a year? Or six months even. Give yourself time to fall in love first.”
“That’s not what this is about. I’m not interested in falling in love. I’m interested in getting on with my life.”
The plan had been to wait until high school was over to start dating because—
One: her super religious parents demanded it.
Two: high school was pure hell (and she’d been one of the head demons in charge).
