Page 43 of A Roommate for Christmas
She couldn’t help feeling a twinge of anxiety in her stomach.She wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she feared she was out of her depth with Carter or the look on his face when he got that text.Not to mention the fact that he was moving out soon and might pretend like this never happened.Maybe it was all the above.But she pushed the feeling aside and stepped out into the cold Chicago air.
Chapter 15
“Ican’tbelieveyou’venevertried deep-dish pizza,” Paige said, perplexed.“That’s like, one of the first things Nadia and I did when we moved here.”
“You forget that I’m from the East Coast.I grew up an hour outside of New York City, so the only pizza that I choose to recognize is a thin-crust slice bigger than my face,” Carter stated.“Whatever that saucy dish is, it most definitely is not pizza.”
The pair had returned from the store and were putting away their groceries.Paige bought fixings for them to have a charcuterie board, including a brie that she planned to bake with honey and walnuts.She threw in a few extra snacks to have on her plane ride, plus a couple of bottles of wine.She hoped some liquid courage might help her tell Carter how she really felt about him before the night was over.
Carter bought a few frozen thin-crust pizzas and some more protein bars to hold himself over until the snow cleared and he could resume his usual takeout routine.
While they were shopping they talked about their favorite spots in Chicago, favorite places they’ve traveled to, and crazy stories from their early twenties.
Talking to Carter was comfortable—something Paige hadn’t experienced in a long time.The more she got to know him, the more she saw how funny and sensitive he really was.He was the opposite of how he’d originally presented himself to be.And she was dying to better understand what had changed.
After putting the groceries away, they each retreated to their own rooms to shower before dinner.
The warm water felt like a blanket surrounding Paige’s skin.After spending all that time out shoveling and walking to the grocery store, she was chilled to her bones.The only thing that kept her from soaking in a hot bath was the fact that Carter would be waiting for her in the kitchen.
Once she was dry, Paige wasn’t sure what to wear.Typically, she would go with something cozy and comfortable, but now that she knew Carter was interested in her, she didn’t want to look like a total slob.
She settled on leggings with a cute yet slightly oversized Christmas sweater.She followed it up by putting on mascara and some subtle lip gloss.She figured this elevated her comfy look a little bit.
“How many Christmas sweaters do you own?”Carter questioned her when she walked out of her room.
“Nadia and I get new ones each year, so at this point we each have about eight or nine,” Paige replied proudly.
“Well, you’re nothing if not dedicated,” Carter said.He was leaning against the island in a black T-shirt and black joggers, giving Paige a half smile that sent her head spinning.“Are you excited to get back home tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I am,” Paige confessed.“Don’t get me wrong, these last couple of days have actually been much better than I thought they’d be, but I hate the thought of missing Christmas with my family.”
“I get that,” he said.“It’s going to feel lonely here, but I really hope your flight can go out tomorrow.”
He gave her a genuine smile before grabbing one of the wine bottles and pouring them each a glass.
Paige started getting the charcuterie board ready for their dinner.
“So,” she started, “whatwereyou going to do this Christmas anyway?You said you usually travel somewhere?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he answered.“For the first time in five years, I was planning to do this.”He pointed around the condo.“Just sit at home and chill.Lately I’ve packed so much into my life to try to avoid feeling anything too intensely.”He paused and took a drink of his wine.“It’s always been my coping mechanism—even before my dad passed—and losing him only made it more necessary.The more I stood still, the more I missed him, so I decided I would just constantly be moving and chase the highs so I didn’t need to experience the lows.”
“Wow, it’s great that you’re so self-aware,” Paige said.She was genuinely impressed.
“Well, after so many years of running from my emotions, I finally hit the wall,” Carter admitted.“I went to see a therapist and he helped me sort through all of this shit in my head.I finally saw that everything in my life was superficial.The way I dressed, the way I acted, the way I lived, the vacations I took, the apartment I lived in, my friendships, my relationships—none of it actually made me happy long-term.So, I went against every instinct in my body that told me to just deal with it and stay numb, and I finally decided to make some changes.”
Is this what a real adult relationship looks like?She thought to herself.I don’t think Chance ever had a thought this profound—at least nothing he ever saidout loud.
Paige reached across the island and squeezed his hand.“For what it’s worth, I don’t see anything superficial about you.All I see is a kind and genuine man who expresses his feelings, helps elderly neighbors in need, and really, really sucks at Mario Kart.”
“Well, wait a minute now.”He gasped playfully.“That race was mine to win and you know it.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Carter.”
“Stupid blue shell,” he muttered under his breath.
Paige’s phone timer went off, and she took her hand out of his grasp.She grabbed the baked brie from the oven and brought the completed cheeseboard over to the coffee table.Carter followed behind her with both their glasses of wine and the open bottle.
They situated themselves on the couch—this time sitting much closer to each other.Paige’s heart skipped a beat.
