Page 86 of You Had Me at Hello World
He crosses his arms. “First he got you to ditch the SAT, now he wants you to leave high school? Char, what are you goingto do if he decides he no longer wants to help you? You can’t put yourself in a position where your future depends on his goodwill.”
“Why do you hate Edvin so much?” The question sounds whiny, even to myself.
“I don’t hatehim. I don’t even know him. But his company, Nexus, has these contracts with Homeland Security. You know what they do to immigrants? Do you truly think they’d be a good partner for Hello World?”
Annoyance spikes in me. “Khoi, does it matter? I don’t have any options left.”
“You don’t need Edvin Nilsen. I’ve got you. Come crash with my aunt and uncle. Our house has plenty of room. It’ll be fun. You can start senior year with me. We can get detention together. Make out in detention.”
I know he’s trying to be lighthearted, but his joke only makes me feel worse. He’s not taking this seriously. He doesn’t get it. After tomorrow, my mom and I might actually be out on the streets.
How would he get it? He’s always had money and family to fall back on. Even when his dad went to jail, he had a home with his aunt and uncle.
“Do you not see the irony in asking me to not rely on Edvin and asking me to rely on you instead?” Mom spent her entire life believing in the empty promises of her romantic partners and look where that got her.
He blurts, “Well, unlike him, I actually love you!”
Then a heavy pause as we stare at each other in shock.
Love.My brain glitches out. The silly, frilly-pink part of me, the part that believes in Disney endings, wants to squeal into a pillow.He loves me!He loves me. He’s seen the clusterfuck that is my life and he still loves me.
But the other part of me is smart.
His eyes are round and sincere. I know he believes completely in what he is saying. I wish I could believe him too.
I fight to keep my voice steady. “You said you’d do whatever it takes to help me. So let’s sign with Edvin.”
Hurt sweeps over his face. “I just said that I love you and you’re acting like this is a business negotiation.”
“This is so much more important than our relationship, okay?”
“Do you love me too?” he asks.
I can’t have this conversation right now. I just can’t. All I manage is, “Khoi.”
“Char, I love you,” he repeats.
“Khoi, don’t…” But I stop talking. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.
And then there’s this awful, unbearable silence between us, with only bird chirps from somewhere above and faint chatter from faraway tourists.
After an eternity, he nods, like this is enough of an answer. Something in his eyes switches off.
His voice comes out low. “The app is all yours. We never drafted any contract about how ownership was split—you can keep everything, I don’t care. Do what you want.”
“That’s not what I was asking for. I don’t want sole ownership.” I want to join the incubator, but I want to do it with Khoi by my side.
“But that’s what I’m giving you.” He inhales hard. “Take everything. We’re done.”
He doesn’t mean that. He can’t mean that. I reach for his hand but he steps away from me.
“Good luck, Char,” he says. “I really hope you get everything you want. I truly mean it.”
He whips on his heel. I stand helplessly and watch him walk away. The distance between us grows and grows until he disappears into a building.
An abyss yawns within me, and if I’m not careful, I might slip and fall forever.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
