Page 68 of Spoiling Lillian
I gasp. “Seriously?”
He nods.
For several seconds, I process this information. Finally, I smile. “That seems like a good thing, right? She’s written me off. She’s telling everyone I left town. Giving the impression I’m not coming back.”
“It would seem that way, yes.”
“That’s not what has you pacing the room and avoiding me,” I say.
He hangs his head. “No.”
“You’re scaring me, Bryson.”
With a deep breath, he meets my gaze again. “We should go to Surrender on Friday.”
I furrow my brow. “Okay. That’s not earthshattering.”
“You need to see what I normally do, Baby. I want you to see me in action.”
My heart is racing, but I’m confused. I rise onto my knees and crawl toward him as he stands. When I’m eye-to-eye with him, I set my palms on his bare chest. “You’re worried about me seeing you at the club?”
“Nervous as fuck, Lils.” His hands come to my back. “I want to be exactly what you need.”
“You are exactly what I need. That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. I figured we would eventually go to the club together. I’m not ignorant about sadism. Simone says there are lots of club members who do their own thing with play partners outside of their romantic relationships. There are Littles whose partners aren’t caregivers and masochists whose partners aren’t sadists and caregivers whose partners aren’t Little. The list is long. I bet we can do our own thing at Surrender and come back together afterward. You told me that it’s not sexual for you when you dominate other people.”
He nods. “It’s not. Occasionally, over the years, it has been from time to time, but it never will be again because, at the end of the day, I’m with you. I’ll never look at another person with thoughts of having sex with them after a scene.”
I slide my hands up around his neck. “I’m not worried. I’ll go to the daycare and get to know the other Littles. Do you think I would meet another Daddy while I’m not with you and suddenly decide I don’t want you anymore?”
He gives me the oddest, most quizzical look. “No.”
“I feel the same way about you. A Daddy might be in the daycare barking out orders. It won’t cause my panties to get wet. And you can flog or cane or whip whoever you want in the main room. I trust that your cock won’t get hard.” I blush as I speak.
Bryson yanks me against him and sets his forehead against mine. “How did you get so smart?”
I shrug.
“I love you.”
“I love you back. So that’s what’s been bothering you this evening? You couldn’t figure out how to tell me you want to go to Surrender?”
“Yeah. Sounds stupid now.”
I chuckle. “You’re not worried about my damn mother spreading weird lies about me, but you’re nervous about taking me to Surrender because you’re afraid I can’t handle watching you flog some other woman.”
He grimaces. “You want to watch?”
“I might. Would you rather I didn’t?”
He draws in a deep breath. “No. I’d rather you did, to be honest. I’d like to know you’re okay with how I play.”
“I’m aware of what you do. I know it’s a part of you. I’ll never try to change you or ask you not to do something that’s part of who you are, Bryson. We aren’t perfectly aligned when it comes to our kink preferences, but we’re going to navigate this together because we love each other. It’s scary because we haven’t faced it yet. But we’ll do that on Friday night. Then you can stop fretting. Okay?”
He growls as he lifts me off my knees and kisses me. “My girlfriend is so fucking smart.”
I giggle. “She’s realistic.”
He kisses me again before lowering me to the bed. “You make me so fucking hard when you wear these nighties,” he murmurs.
