Page 67 of Spoiling Lillian
“Lillian.”
“Is she a masochist?”
I wince. “No. Can’t tolerate a swat on the bottom.”
Carson starts laughing before swiping a hand down his face and sobering. “Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Now what?”
“I don’t have a clue.”
“You’re going to have to face this head-on eventually. If not, your palm will start getting twitchy.”
He’s not joking. I’m well-aware. It’s not like I can turn my back on my sadistic side. I would eventually get twitchy, like he said. Dominating Lillian by tying her up and edging her does give me some satisfaction, but in the long run, it’s probably not enough.
It has to be, though, doesn’t it? It’s not like I’m going to train her to accept my palm. And even if she did learn to enjoy being spanked, it still wouldn’t be enough for me. I’d never inflict real pain on Lillian. She’d hate it. I’ll probably lose my head the first time she stubs her toe. I don’t like to see her hurting—not emotionally nor physically.
“There are plenty of Doms who practice their kink without their significant others, you know.”
“Yeah. I know. But she’s…” Fuck, she’s not even familiar with many fetishes at all. I’m freaking out about the idea of giving her a deeper tour of Surrender and letting her watch.
“You can’t coddle her to the point that you’re hiding your true self,” Carson points out.
I draw in a deep breath. “I know.”
“Bring her to the club. Show her around. Maybe let her watch you dominate someone. She might surprise you and be totally fine with it.”
“I’m not sure I’m totally fine with dominating another woman at this point.”
“One way to find out. I’ll be there on Friday night if you need anything.”
I nod. “Thanks. And I appreciate the pep talk. I needed it more than I realized.”
“Anytime.”
I tap the drawings on the table. “Shall we look at what you have in mind?”
Chapter 27
Lillian
* * *
“What’s wrong?” I’m sitting in the middle of the bed, legs crossed, a pale yellow cotton nightie on. And I’m in a panic because Bryson is not acting like himself. I’ve been here for three days, so my stomach is in knots from worrying. It will devastate me if he’s had a change of heart about us.
“Nothing, sweet girl,” he says without looking at me. He’s been in and out of his closet a few times.
I swallow down my fear. There’s no way I’m going to let this go. I may be Little when I want to be, and it’s fun for a few hours, but I’m not a child. I’m a grown woman. I don’t care that I’m fourteen years younger than Bryson, I won’t ever let a man treat me with kid gloves or keep things from me.
“Is it my mom?”
“No, Lils. Shit. Sorry. I forgot to tell you that I spoke to Blade this afternoon.” He finally stops at the edge of the bed, sets his palms down, and faces me. “Blade planted a woman at the country club. She eavesdropped on your mother.”
I sit taller. “And?”
“Your mother is telling people you were having a secret affair with a man and you ran off with him.”
