Page 41 of Spoiling Lillian
“What happened?” she finally asks in a soft voice.
“You’re in a state we call subspace.”
“What does that mean?”
“It happens to some people during a deep, intense submission. It’s sort of like floating out of your body. At least that’s what I’m told. I’ve seen it many times. I’ve never experienced it, though.”
“We didn’t do a scene. What do you mean?”
“We did, sweet girl. Anytime I dominate you like that, we’re in a scene. You were submitting to me so deeply, Baby. You slipped into another state of mind. When that happens, it’s my responsibility to provide you with aftercare like I did last week.”
She lifts her head and stares at me. She’s more lucid now, but there’s still confusion behind her eyes. “You didn’t do anything.”
I smile. “Sometimes it’s like that. You didn’t need me to do anything. The suggestion was enough. You were naked and vulnerable. You obeyed my orders when I told you how to stand and then commanded you to lie on your back. I think you slipped into a blissful state before we got to that, but when I restrained your hands, it pushed you over the edge.”
“Did you touch me? I don’t remember that part.”
“I didn’t, sweet girl. Only your thighs. You didn’t need more.” I stroke a lock of hair back from her forehead. I love that she’s seemingly not aware that she’s naked. It also tells me she’s still working toward coming out of subspace.
She’s frowning.
“Some people are more susceptible to subspace than others. You need to be aware that you could easily slip into it. I’m extremely glad I was the one with you today, but there might be a day when I’m not with you and someone else doesn’t understand what’s happening to you.”
I hate those words even as they’re leaving my mouth. I want to take them back. Lillian is mine. She’ll never be in a situation where someone else is dominating her and has to provide aftercare. If I had any doubts, they poofed out of existence today, but I’m not going to freak her out by reiterating how deeply I feel about her right now.
“Do you remember being tied to your bed, sweet girl?” I lower my finger so I’m stroking her cheek now.
“Yes.”
“Do you remember how aroused you were?”
She squirms. “Yes, Sir,” she whispers.
“I’ve never seen anyone that turned on without being touched, Lils. It was hot as fuck but also kind of scary.”
Her lips quiver. “I wanted you to touch me.” A tear leaks from the corner of her eye.
My heart is in my throat. I know she needs to cry. That’s not unusual. And I will hold her for as long as it takes and wipe her tears. Subdrop often includes tears.
I lean closer to her face and kiss her forehead. “It’s possible that edging is too much for you, sweet girl,” I admit. “It may take you too far. Discipline is not meant to push you so far that you want to stab me in my sleep.”
She gasps and sits ramrod straight, the blanket falling completely to her thighs. “I don’t want to stab you in your sleep.
I chuckle. “Sorry. I was exaggerating, Baby.” She’s taking me super literally because she’s not fully back in her body.
“I just wanted to come.” She’s dead serious. This isn’t funny.
I rub up and down her spine, forcing myself to keep my eyes on hers and not let them stray to her fucking sexy breasts. “I know, sweet girl. Why don’t we go into your playroom and find something to do?”
She stares at me for long moments before finally nodding slowly. She’s vulnerable. I think she’ll benefit from being in Little space. She won’t have to make any decisions. When I’m confident she’s back inside her body enough for me to leave her alone for a few minutes, I’ll make her dinner. One step at a time.
I tuck my arms under her and lift her into my embrace again as I stand. I don’t even bother to cover her chest. The first thing I’m going to do when we get to her playroom is find something to dress her in. Something Little.
She clings to me, her grip around my neck stronger, indicating she’s coming out of it.
There’s a dresser in her playroom, and I aim for it, opening the top drawer. “Let’s find some clothes for you to wear.”
Surprising me, she leans over, rummages around, and plucks something pink out of the drawer. “This.”
