Page 50 of Daniil
“I want her to stay.”
“You want her to stay or you wantthemto stay?”
“Her.Them.It’s the same thing.”
“It’s not.You can’t play games anymore, Dan.Either you’re all in or you let her go.Because although I don’t approve of what she did, I do understand why she did it.Your life comes with danger for both of them.If you’re not in love with her, ready to be with her forever, then maybe the best thing is to let them go.You’re not really going to do the long-distance dad thing.You can’t.And that’s not safe anyway.”
“You think if I don’t love her I shouldn’t be a part of my son’s life?”
He shrugs.“What do you think?Deep down in the part of you that understands what’s at stake—you know you can’t claim your child and be his father unless the two of you are together.But it’s not fair to her to trick her into staying by pretending to love her.You both deserve better.Getting married for a child is never the right move.”
This is a scenario I hadn’t even considered.
The truth is that while I really like her, and want to see what we might have together, we need more time for me to fully understand the depth of my feelings for her since I already married someone I didn’t love the way I should have.And I have to be sure that I can be faithful to her for the rest of my life.
Unless and until I can, I need to consider letting both of them go.
Chapter20
Courtney
I come awake slowly,stretching and luxuriating in the soft sheets and comfortable mattress.This is the first time I’ve slept in the bed and it’s much more comfortable than my mattress at home.Sunlight is streaming into the room, and I sit up in a panic as I realize how late it must be.
Micah!
I’ve just gotten to my feet when I see the piece of paper on the pillow.
Courtney,
I hope you had a chance to catch up on sleep.Don’t worry about Micah.I took him to the gym and, if you’re still not awake, he’ll join me for this morning’s security briefing.Take your time—I don’t have to leave the palace today, so we’ll be around.Text me when you’re up.–Daniil
I want to be annoyed that he took my son without asking but that’s ridiculous.It’s his son too.And he essentially took him to work with him, which is kind of hilarious.But that means I can take a shower without rushing.Maybe enjoy a cup of coffee for once.I love my baby, but I don’t have much time to myself, so I won’t waste this opportunity.
This rare moment of privacy also gives me time to think about what happened last night.Daniil putting me to bed.Rubbing my back.Lying beside me and just stroking my hair, my arms, shoulders…until I fell asleep.No expectations, nothing but gentle consideration because I admitted I wasn’t sleeping.
I’ve been exposed to playboy Daniil.Bodyguard Daniil.Prince Daniil.And sex god Daniil.I’ve never met last night’s Daniil.The guy in a tank top and flip flops who rubbed my back and didn’t try to get in my pants.Didn’t try anything.
I’m not naïve.I’m aware that he potentially has an end game here—to get me to agree to bring Micah to Limaj and permanently into his life.But there are a million other ways for him to make that happen.Ways that have nothing to do with rubbing my back or making me feel safe in a place that seems to bring out the worst in me.
But last night wasn’t a game.Ulterior motives aside, he just wanted to help me relax.And it worked.Because I feel like myself today for the first time since he showed up at the house that day a few weeks ago.Technically, nothing has changed but there’s nothing like a good night’s sleep to change your view of the world.
I shower, blow dry my hair, slap some mascara on my lashes, dab on a little lip gloss, and decide to wear capris and a blouse.I have no idea what the rest of the day will bring but I figure I should take a little extra time since I’m going to go wandering around the palace to find Micah.
Once I text Daniil and he tells me where to find them, I make my way to the floor where the offices are.There are no signs, which I was told was done by design, so I follow the instructions he texted me: Right off the elevator, left at the second corridor, first door on the right.
And that’s right where I find him—along with a handful of others.
“Hey.”Lennox is holding Micah, who has a teething ring in his mouth and is drooling all over himself and her.
“Hi.”I lean over to kiss the top of Micah’s head.“Have you been a good boy?”
I’m not sure if the raspberry he blows in response is a yes or a no.
“He’s an angel.”Daniil smiles at me.He’s sitting in a chair with papers spread out before him, looking just as magnificent as always in a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to halfway up his forearms.
“Thank you for letting me sleep,” I say.“I can’t remember the last time I slept until ten o’clock!”
“You needed it,” he says.“Are you hungry?We’re going to have lunch soon but I’m sure the cook can make you breakfast if you prefer?”
