Page 64 of Lily In The Valley
Chapter 20
Khalil
Lily-Girl
I think I messed up today.
Me
Want to talk about it?
Read 9:42 PM.
That was last night. This morning? Nothing. No follow-up. No “I’m okay.” Not even one of those lazy “k” replies she used to send when she was mad but still wanted to keep the line open. Just silence. It was silence I’d started to memorize. The kind that crept up slow, thick like molasses, until I was drowning in it. But this one felt colder. Permanent.
I’d read her text over and over like there was a code hidden between the letters.“I think I messed up today.”Did she mean work? Us? Both? My phone buzzed from a new message, but it was just Xavier telling me he was on his way to the community center we were renovating. I threw on a hoodie and grabbed my keys.
When I pulled up, it looked like every other construction zone I’d seen before. The drywall in the back classroom hadn’tgone up yet, and you could still smell the wood glue in the foundation of the front office. A vision coming to life. Something we were building with our own hands. Something solid.
Unlike everything else.
Xavier was at the fold-out table we used as our “command center,” flipping through blueprints with his laptop open beside him. The light caught the creases around his eyes, but his movements were steady. Reliable. Man was a damn metronome. Wesley perched himself on an overturned paint bucket near the window, in all-black as usual, sipping a coffee and talking mess between bites of an energy bar.
“You been ghost mode all week,” Xavier said without looking up. “What’s going on?”
I dropped my bag on the floor and pulled out a chair across from him. “Nothing.”
“That nothing look heavy,” Wesley muttered. “Let me guess. Kelly?”
I didn’t respond.
Instead, I reached for one of the blueprints but couldn’t focus on a single line.
“Nessa said she looks like she’s doing okay. Doesn’t believe it, though.”
I huffed, sinking further into my chair. “She texted me last night. Said she messed up. Then, nothing.”
“Grief will do that,” Xavier said, voice low and even. “Make you reach out just to see if someone will catch you, then panic and let go.”
“I just wish I knew where we stood,” I admitted. “I don’t want to push her. But I can’t keep sitting in this damn limbo, waiting for her to choose me again.”
Wesley leaned forward. “Are you waiting on her to reach out, or are you scared to admit she might not?”
That one stung.
Before I could answer, the front door swung open, and in came Maverick, loud as ever, rocking some too loud cologne, gold chain glinting in the light, and a Shipley’s box in hand.
“Y’all trying to build Wakanda or something?” he said, grinning. He looked around the room, settling his gaze on me. “Fuck wrong with you?” he asked, tossing the box of donuts on the table and flopping into the squeaky camp chair in the corner like he’d been invited. “What y’all talking about?”
“Kelly got him in his feelings,” Wesley said, jerking his chin at me.
Maverick looked me over. “She still got your nose wide open. After all these years. Y’all know he was ready to square up back in college. I wasn’t even trying to push up on her like that, just see how bad he had it.”
“Chill,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.
“I’m just saying.” Maverick shrugged, biting into another donut. “You walk around like you invincible. But anytime you and Kelly going through it, you look like you been listening to Brent Faiyaz on repeat.”
I cracked a deep laugh despite myself. “I can’t help it, bruh. She’s in Seattle. I haven’t seen her in months. Ain’t really been talking.”
