Page 56 of Lily In The Valley
We won that round, then another. The room buzzed, but I could feel his eyes watching me. Not like he wanted something, but like he noticed. When the next game started, we let another pair take our spot. We moved to the side and watched the ensuing game.
“So, what’s the deal with you and my boy?” he asked. “Y’all together or what?”
“Depends on the night.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Tonight must be one of those nights.”
“Nope,” I said, throwing back the drink in my cup. “He’s occupied tonight.”
“You like him, though,” he added. “More than you wanna admit.”
I shrugged, softer this time. “It doesn’t matter.” My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and saw it was Nyah FaceTiming me. I answered.
“Bitch! We are so fucked up,” she half-laughed, half-screamed into the camera. She panned the camera around to Lynn who was bent over in laughter. Chaotic talking and laughter mixed in with the music from wherever they were.
“Who is that?” Maverick asked, getting closer to my screen, licking his lips.
“My other besties, Lynn and Nyah. They go to Texas Southern.” I smiled at my screen, trying to make out whatever Nyah and Lynn babbled from the other end.
“Where’s Nessa?” Nyah managed to get out. “I bet Zay got her addicted to the dick.”
Lynn leaned her head on Nyah’s shoulder. “Hell yeah! Got her ass dickmatized.”
Maverick nudged my shoulder. “Let me talk to the one holding the phone,” he urged.
“Boy, no. She won’t even remember talking to you. Besides,” I started, but didn’t have to finish. Her boyfriend, Antonio, entered the screen, his face stoic as he whispered in Nyah’s ear. She pouted in response as Lynn took the phone.
“Oh shit. We done got in trouble. Bye girl,” she said, ending the call.
“Damn, man,” Maverick said, smoothing a hand over his head. “All the good ones taken.”
“What the fuck does that make me,” I shot back.
He kissed his teeth and threw his hand. “Shit, you taken, too. Y’all just ain’t figured the shit out yet.” He poured himself another drink. “Let me bring you back to your man before he start fighting niggas.”
I rolled my eyes as I followed Maverick back outside. As soon as we crossed the threshold to the backyard, Khalil’s eyes met mine. He stood from the couch, leaving his harem behind. There was a slight edge to his eyes as he neared us.
“Where the hell y’all been?” he asked, trying to keep the question light.
Maverick sized him up, then laughed. “Stop being stupid, nigga.” He laughed again, slapping Khalil’s neck as he walked off.
Khalil stood in front of me, smiling now that we were alone. “You ready to go?”
I pursed my lips, narrowed my eyes. “Nope,” I replied, smiling sweetly. “I’m just getting started.”
Chapter 18
Khalil
The sun wasn’t even up yet,but the weight in my skull made it feel like the day had already beaten me down. I lay flat on my back, fan blades slicing the air overhead, indifferent. The room tilted every time I blinked, like the walls were conspiring to hide something from me. I reached for my phone. No messages. No missed calls. Just the ghost of the message I’d sent Kelly last night. “Let me know if you need anything.” I saw the three dots appear, brief as breath. Then nothing.
Them damn three dots haunted me more than the silence did.
My chest ached. Not sharp, not crushing. Just heavy. Like I’d slept under wet cement. I sat up and rubbed the back of my neck, staring at the stillness of my apartment. I used to complain about her constant need to work and wax poetic about charts and research–the frenzied hum of her voice, the shuffle of her feet, the half-laughs she made when speaking about something one of her patients said.
Now, silence was a punishment.
I’d gone from falling asleep with her breath on my skin to being a guest in her grief. The tile in the kitchen shocked my feetawake. I poured a cup of coffee I didn’t want, adding oat milk out of habit. It tasted like bitterness, like absence. I dumped it without taking a second sip. I was doing all the things people said helped. Keeping busy, staying productive. Dishes always washed. Laundry folded on the same day. I’d added ten pounds to my bench press. My apartment had never looked more lived in, but it had never felt so empty.
