Page 54 of Wilder at Heart
I cannot believe this guy. He’s so rude, he’s sococky, and he’s so bloody offensive about Jonathan. ‘Fuck you, Theo. He doesn’t—he’s not a cart horse. He’s lovely. And handsome. And sexy. And he knows exactly what he’s doing. Thank you for your concern.’
‘Oh yeah? I bet he’s a carthorse. I bet a big night for him is leaving the lights on during sex.’
I gasp. ‘Seriously? And you’re a stud, I suppose, in this scenario? A prize stallion?’ He’s such a dick.
He smiles, and it’s plain obnoxious how killer a smile he has. ‘You’ve got it, baby.’
‘Well, I’ve seen mares being covered, buddy, and let me tell you, those stallions make it all about them. I’m not interested in a quickwham, bam, thank you, ma’am.’
‘I promise you, sweetheart.’ He lays my foot down next to my other one, widening his legs so they drop between them, and squeezes his legs so he’s giving my feet and calves a kind of thigh hug. It’s like the reflexology equivalent of a happy ending, and it’s disconcertingly delightful. ‘There’s nothing quick about me. I’d make it long, and slow, and it still wouldn’t be enough for you.’
‘Why are you so vile? And so coarse?’
I wiggle my legs, but he has them in a vice. He puts his hands down on the tops of my feet to hold them in place while he gazes at me. There’s something about the intimacy of having our legs together that makes me wonder how it would have been to wake up with him this morning. My limbs entangled with his.
‘I’m not proud of much, but I’m proud of how I can make women feel. For me, there’s nothing more sensual or more of a turn on than seeing a woman overcome with desire, her eyelids heavy, her mouth swollen, other parts of her swollen too, her nipples hard, and knowing I can make her feel much, much better. Knowing I can give her exactly what she needs.I fucking love it, sweetheart.’
His eyes are darkening, and his hands are building heat as they rub against my skin, and heat is building in other parts of my body, too. Because, come on. All I have to do is look at this guy to know he’s good at sex. And experienced. For all my insults to him, I have no doubt in my mind about that.
‘I’m sure you do.’ I clear my throat and try to tear my eyes away from him. ‘But I’m not sure that, for me, personally, sex can really work without love. It’d be missing a big piece.’
‘I can’t answer that. I’ve never been in love. Not even close. But I will say I believe chemistry is more important than love. What I mean is, I imagine you can be completely in love with someone and still the sex isn’t great. I mean, it’s nice, intimate, but not, you know, fireworks. But if you have greatchemistry with someone, then believe me, that can be fucking transcendent, and you’ll be so busy having orgasms you really won’t be thinking about the L-word.’
I stare at him. At his mouth, more precisely. ‘Allegedly.’
His lips curve up into a grin, but it’s wistful rather than dirty.
‘Allegedly. But look. I’m not a fucking charity case. If you don’t want what I’m offering, I’ll just keep hanging out with my fist till we’ve finished this little arrangement. And you keep doing you. No hard feelings. Thanks for breakfast.’
He releases my feet and swings his leg over, getting up off the sofa. He squeezes my shoulder as he heads back inside, and despite the sunshine, my legs feel cold.
Exposed.
Bereft.
CHAPTER 21
Nora
Theo’s not the only person giving me a hard time.
When I grab my phone from my room, the WhatsApps are piling up. There’s a flurry of messages from Elle, and one from—oh my God.
Jonathan.
I click into our chat. There’s a two-minute-long audio message, sent at two o’clock this morning. I shut my bedroom door and sink down onto the edge of the bed. Just above it is the last message I ever sent him, right before he came back to our flat and told me it was over.
Hope you had a good day sweetie! Made lasagne for supper. See you shortly xx
The trust in that message makes me tear up. The love. The oblivion to what was about to happen to my life when he did come home that night.
Dickhead.
I hit play, close my eyes and let my head hang down over the phone.
‘Nor. Nor? It’s me.’ Oh my God. He sounds wasted. ‘Hey. Hi. I just wanted to say [heavy sigh] I hope you’re okay. I can’tbelieve you had to take that twat home. And I know it’s none of my business. Iknowthat, all right? But Nor.Seriously. Do you really think he’s a good person for you to be with? Cos I don’t. Lucy told me about what he got up to on that show. Honestly, he’s always been a dirty bastard; he shagged so many girls at uni and…’
He trails off and I open my eyes and check to see if the message has finished. It’s still running. Did he forget to hang up, or…
