Page 40 of From the Flames
They looked at each other. “I’m not sure we can comment on an ongoing investigation.”
Willy put his hands on his hips. “Then there is nothing to stop me from heading down to Borough Hall and asking thecodes department for all the building projects that Kraft and Hobson worked on. They are public records, and I can use the Freedom of Information Act to get whatever I need, especially if it’s part of my work. I’ve decided that an economic impact study of certain classes of buildings might yield some interesting results. After all, I’m always looking for another chance to publish.”
Carter looked about ready to blow his top, but Red rolled his eyes. “Fine. We’ll keep you informed as much as we can, as long as you stay away from the case yourself. There is no need to put yourself on the front line. Got it.”
“Agreed.” Willy checked the time. “Classes are about to let out, which means half the faculty will be in here, and all of them are going to want to know what you wanted. So unless you want to face a dozen academics whose natural inclination is to ask questions, you might want to say goodbye. The rumor mill here works faster than at a garden club tea.”
Red snickered. “Thanks. We’ll be in touch.” They left the room.
A few minutes later classes ended, and Willy sighed. “That was close.”
“How so?”
“The only person who saw them come in was your aunt, and I can trust her to keep her mouth shut. But if the rest of these gossips saw us with the police, the rumors would fly around this place, and I can imagine they would range from me being mugged to I’m wanted for murder. God only knows.” There were times when he thought the people he worked with needed to get lives of their own.
“I’ll head out. You need to get ready for your next class.” Kevin stood and lightly kissed him before leaving the break room.
“Jesus, the good ones are either married or gay,” Violet, an ancient history professor, said from behind him. “What I wouldn’t give,” she added, watching Kevin.
“He’s my nephew,” Evelyn snapped. She and Violet never got along. “And he has good taste.” She patted Willy’s cheek. “What was all that about?”
“Nothing. Just an update on what they’re doing about the fire.” That should keep the rumor mill at bay. “They’re making progress, but they don’t have a lot of definitive answers yet. In other words, they know some things but can’t share them. Which is fine. The kids and I are safe, and Kevin is doing better. That’s what counts.”
“So he’s going back to work soon?”
“Hopefully in a few days. The cough is getting better, but it hasn’t gone away.” He was starting to get worried that Kevin’s lungs were injured more than they thought. “I’m keeping an eye on him as much as he will allow me.”
She rolled her eyes. “That one is a really good man, but he spends all his time worrying about other people and doesn’t take good enough care of himself. If he’d had his own way, he would have returned to work the next day and pretended everything was all right until he keeled over from sheer exhaustion and lack of oxygen.” She poured herself some coffee. “You’re good for him.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I come with a lot of baggage, so to speak. And I hope it doesn’t prove to be too much. The kids love him….”
“And that’s got you scared, because if he leaves, then the kids will be affected.”
Willy nodded. “I could get so attached to having him in our lives. But can I do that? Can I take that chance? It’s not just me, and the longer he’s around, the more they’ll….” He knew sheunderstood. “I just don’t want them to get hurt. I can deal with myself, but not what I’m opening them up to.”
Evelyn shook her head. “People are going to come and go from your kids’ lives all the time. The only person who isn’t going to do that is you. So stop worrying. Those kids are going to grow to love the same people you do, particularly at this age. If you want a relationship, then have one. If you don’t, then Kevin deserves to know how you feel and what you’re thinking.”
Willy sighed. “That’s just it—I don’t know. I mean, I know how I feel, but what if I don’t feel the same in the future, or what if Kevin decides it’s all too much?”
Evelyn sipped from her mug. “It sounds like you want guarantees, and there aren’t any. We’re all flying blind every time we give our heart. Mark’s death really did a number on you.”
“Well, I thought that was going to last forever, and look what happened there. I thought we would be together forever, but I didn’t know that only meant….” He hadn’t thought of Mark in a while, and maybe that was part of what was bothering him.
“Mark was wonderful, I know that, but don’t let your fears keep you from having a second chance.”
He nodded. “I mean, after Mark, I never thought I’d feel that way again and….” He wanted to get the hell out of this room because his feelings were way too close to the surface. “I guess I’m worried that I might be forgetting about him.”
“It’s just that the loss you’ve carried along with you for so long is starting to fade. That’s healthy. It means that you’re ready to move on. Mark will always be in your heart, and so will your kids.”
“But….”
“Did your love for Grant diminish when you had April?” she asked. “Of course not. Your heart just expanded to include them both. And that’s what’s happening. Making room for someonenew doesn’t mean that you let go. Mark is part of your past, and you loved him. Maybe Kevin is part of your future.”
“I hope he is.”
“Then maybe it’s as simple as you allowing him to be,” Evelyn offered. “Now you go on and get to your next class and don’t worry so much about what’s best for everyone else. Think about what’s going to make you happy.” She flashed him a smile, and Willy went to his office to get his materials. Damn, he was messed up, and he needed to get his head on straight. He didn’t want to screw things up with Kevin, but losing Mark had left him with so much fear and worry.
He was being dumb, and he knew it. Kevin was a good person, and he wasn’t going to hurt Willy, at least not on purpose. And the future hadn’t happened yet, so worrying about it was kind of dumb. It was time he allowed himself to start living again, and that meant going on with his life, moving forward. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself before heading off to his next class.
