Page 33 of Love and Other Mental Health Concerns
“Nope, I even asked Ted last night when I stopped at Brothers for a bite. He hasn’t seen him in weeks either.” Annie is doing that thing with her eyebrows like she is trying to get me to read her mind.
“Have I ever told you that you are actually terrible at trying to convey your thoughts with your brows?”
“Only all the time.” Doesn’t stop her. “What are you thinking Marcy? Maybe you misread a situation and should reach out to that puppy that you kicked?” Her turn to have a mischievous grin.
This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted Nick to have fun and be himself, not turn into a hermit and miss out on life in North River for the remainder of his time here. As I find myself yet again pondering the man that is Nick Anderson, Keith enters the room and heads to his podium.
I still haven’t recovered from his baffling make-over, and although the blond streaks in his hair have started to grow out, his confusing wardrobe choices remain a constant source of entertainment. Today he has on a red, floral, Hawaiian shirt, with his Khaki work pants, and a visor with a polo pony on it. The blond streaks flopping over it like some disturbing collection of wet noodles. Where does one find a visor for men nowadays?
“Good afternoon, North River Hospital!” He gets a smattering of half-assed ‘Good Afternoons’ returned to him but keeps an overly enthusiastic expression on his face. “I have a couple announcements and then Nick Anderson will be taking over this meeting, giving us an update on his tireless effortsto point North River Hospital toward a successful future.” He swallows and looks down at some notes.
My mind kicks into a high gear. At the confirmation that I would see Nick at this meeting, every sense in my body is suddenly thrumming with anticipation.
“So quickly, open enrollment is coming up, and everyone needs to pay attention to the emails coming out regarding your medical coverage. Be sure to sign up before the deadline indicated, we can’t help you if you are late. Also, we are needing more assistance to plan the upcoming holiday parties, so if you have any interest in lending a hand, please let Angie know.” Angie stands and waves to the crowded room, as if there is anyone in the room who wouldn’t know her. Her freshly bleached perm bobbing with her nods.
“There’s a sign-up sheet at my desk, just stop by!” She yells enthusiastically into the room.
“Thank you, Angie. Finally, please remember that there is a blood drive in the town square this weekend, being hosted by the senior center dance team, the Foxy Trots. While there will be collections for blood donations for our hospital bank, additional money raised is going toward improvements to the dance room at the senior center.” As previously mentioned, these townspeople will support any cause. The Foxy Trots always draw a crowd. At the last event they hosted, they got a standing ovation for their tap number to Nelly’s “Hot in Herre.” Two R’s.
“Without further ado,” Keith continues. “Here is Nick Anderson.”
I can’t take my eyes off Nick as he rises from the table closest to the podium. I am trying to hide at my usual spot in the back. He looks so gorgeous, wearing a deep green sweater that is just a little tighter than his usual cut. The bright blue color in his eyes sparkle above his trimmed beard and square jawline. He’s the epitome of rugged good looks, wrapped in perfectly fittingjeans that hug his strong thighs just enough to make me sweat in my leggings and boots. The rings on my hand taking several lazy turns.
“I’m sorry, is it warm in here or is it just me?” Annie leans over to whisper in my ear.
“Shut up,” I snap back at her.
Nick settles into the podium and greets everyone. He seems so comfortable and naturally grabs the attention of the room with his charisma. There is something missing from his delivery though. That initial cockiness that simmered below the surface of his previous presentation isn’t there. I can’t decide if I wish that wasn’t the case or if I am selfishly satisfied that just maybe he isn’t as over me as I assumed he would be. He drones on about the facts and figures of the hospital that he has been studying, offering insight into some of the recommendations he will be making to the board and some changes that staff members can make to aid in improving patient care and hospital spending.
“Finally, I want to touch base on some incredible initiatives coming from your Social Services Director, Marcy Murphy.”
Social Services Director? That’s not my title.
“Marcy has made some connections with the local senior center and college in order to increase the availability of mental health and social service programming to the patients of the hospital, without asking for any additional funds to do so. We are talking assistance with transportation, caregiving, appointment follow-up, socialization, and education. She has really outdone herself, and her efforts are sure to have a positive impact on this hospital and the community for generations to come. So big thanks to Marcy for her efforts.” His eyes find mine in the back of the room, where he knows I will be. They lock just long enough to exchange small and appreciating smiles. He looks away first, and this pit in my stomach turns at the reaction.
“Wow Marcy, I don’t think you can get much more complimentary than that.” Lauren whispers. “You sure you guys aren’t seeing each other? Maybe you forgot?” Her dark cat eyes giving me a wink.
“Forgot? He hasn’t said a word to me in weeks, only brief email exchanges to provide community outreach updates.” I explain to her.
“Hmm. I know you do great work, but not often someone gets called out like that around here.” Lauren gives me a sideways glance and I pretend not to notice. I’m flushed from the public support and the eyes that have turned toward me. Nick closed his comments and rather than take a seat at a table, he exits the room, apparently not needing to hear Keith’s final words of wisdom.
“Want to go to Brother’s and celebrate the promotion you apparently forgot to tell me about?” Annie asks once Keith has finished his spiel.
“I didn’t realize I got promoted either.” What is going on? My thoughts are spinning, and this time rather than avoid my trigger, by body is propelling me toward the threat. “Ya know…I think I have somewhere I need to be, but rain check?”
“Yeah, I think you do too.” She gives me that knowing grin.
As I wait for the world’s slowest elevator, my heart is pounding in my chest, thoughts still swirling. I haven’t talked to or laid eyes on Nick in weeks but seeing him this afternoon leaves me feeling breathless and wanting. He is so handsome and just looks…strained. That light that I came to crave about him is just a bit dimmer than it should be, harkening back to that afternoon after running into his parents. A bit broken.
It feels like an eternity has passed before I am at the door to his office, which is uncharacteristically closed. I knock as I push it open and find Nick sitting at his desk, staring blankly at his calendar on the computer. He turns and seems surprised to seeme. He stands to walk around and lean back on the front of his desk, large forearms crossed over his firm chest. It is almost like he’s trying to be too casual, too cool. I close the door behind me and eye him a bit wearily.
“Hello Marcy.” His voice is low and somewhat somber. “What can I do for you?”
“I didn’t realize I got a promotion, so I thought I would come see what kind of game you are playing Nick.”
“No game…well a small game with Keith. You should be a Director of Social Services; you are taking on all the responsibilities of a director anyway. When you start to have more volunteers and staff under your guidance, you will need that title to clarify who is running the show. Keith knows it, he just needs to get his head out of his ass, and I want to give him a little push.” He is flat, calm, cold.
“Okay, well thank you anyway.” I sway a bit on my feet. “And thank you for the compliments on my work, that really wasn’t necessary.”
