Page 18 of Love and Other Mental Health Concerns
“Well, I am not most women apparently…”
“No Marcy, you definitely are not like most women.” Now it’s his turn to pretend he is staring out at the water. Both of us seem a flustered with one another, just slightly off from the casual energy we landed on last night. There is something a little more flirtatious in the morning light, although that’s bound to happen when a man like him was just holding you shirtless, I guess.
“I’m going to take that as a compliment, Nick. I’m guessing you know what you are talking about when it comes to the range of women out there.” That brings his attention back to me, he looks a little surprised that I teased him back. I am a little surprised I did too.
“You would be right Marcy, I have some experience under my belt…no pun intended.” He throws me a mischievous smirkand giggles in a way that has me laughing with him again. I roll my eyes at him, which is only encouraging him at this point.
“Ok, ok,” I stammer as we recover from our laugh. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Something other than my looks and dating history that you are so interested in all of a sudden? Sure, we can talk about something else…” I try to interrupt him to deny his accusation, but I am afraid that jig is up, and he is ignoring my efforts anyway. “I want to jog a couple more miles this morning, want to join me?” His unexpected invitation has the butterflies in my stomach flapping wildly.
“Join you on your run? You must be superman fast or something, ill pass. I’ll just slow you down.”
“My cardio is weak, so no way you would slow me down. I would like the company, and I can run at your side, so that you aren’t distracted by my pecs again…although if you want me to run in front of you so that you can check out my ass, that’s a great view too.” He has a glint in those blue eyes and a cocky smile on his face. Apparently, he’s on a high from teasing me, while I debate jumping from the bridge to swim home instead.
“I hate you.” I say through a terribly hidden grin.
“The past few minutes have suggested otherwise, Marcy.”Damn it.
“Ugh, Okay fine, yes you can run next to me.” He looks genuinely excited, and it warms me.
“Yes, ma’am.” He pulls up to my side. He doesn’t have headphones, like some kind of psychopath.
“You don’t use headphones when you run?” Maybe he is a serial killer.
“No, it distracts me from the movement. I tend to zone out and think about other things. You can put yours on though, I won’t bother you.” I debate the offer.
“I’ll make you a deal, I’ll chat with you for the first part of the run, but you can’t be offended if I put my headphones on after a little while. I use the beats of the music to keep my energy up.”
“Deal,” He goes to shake my hand, which I reciprocate, and we find ourselves lingering a little too long in what is supposed to be a friendly gesture. Just like last night.
“You hold my hand too long when you shake it.” I find myself awkwardly blurting out. Now he is turning red, and I feel a bit vindicated.
“You don’t pull away either.” He counters.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
We run side by side. I never need my headphones.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nick
My intention in driving Marcy home the other night was simply that. Make sure she got home safe in the rain, the thought of her cold and soaking not something I was comfortable with. I wasn’t sure she would allow me the honor, but was pleasantly surprised when she agreed, and then completely shocked when she suggested we eat together. I know she said she wanted to go over her ideas for improving social services, but I like to think she wanted to keep spending time with me. Well, my ego likes to think that anyway.
The beginning of the evening was a practice in restraint. She seemed nervous when she asked me to stay, and I couldn’t just reach out and touch her the way I normally would have on a date. When she turned from me to unlock the back door to Harolds, it took all my will power not put my hands on her hips, and whisper some of my dirty thoughts in her ear. I hadn’t even realized how quickly I have been going into “flirt mode,” until last night when I realized that my dick got me there on auto pilot. With Marcy, I need my heart and my brain to be flying this plane.
Playing the long game, I kept my hands to myself, but did I flirt with her a little? Yes I did. I am still me after all. Did she flirt back with me a little too? Yes she did, and that felt incredible. I get the sense she doesn’t let herself do that often. Feeling herslowly get more comfortable, made me feel more relaxed too. Then my efforts felt rewarded when Marcy opened up about her family and her struggles as a kid. Information I realize that I would have missed out on if I had steered the conversation to more shallow endeavors.
It's strange to feel yourself grow up in real time.
There is a part of me that wonders if our evening felt so great because of the novelty of the interaction for me. Maybe I could enjoy the friend zone with women? But the more time I spend with Marcy, the more I’m starting to think that’s not the case. When I accidentally found her on my run the following morning, I had a moment of pure excitement. There was also this underlying sensation that I can only believe is this “butterflies” feeling everyone has always described. I am probably a little old to not know for sure, but the awareness in the pit of my stomach was simultaneously uncomfortable and addicting.
Marcy was standing there on that bridge like some sort of river goddess overlooking her kingdom. The early morning light was catching on the dark curls in her ponytail and the sheen on her skin. She didn’t notice me, attention fully cast on the rhythm of the river and the luminosity of the fall foliage. She was glowing, and although I had no intention of scaring her when I tapped her shoulder, it was quite the happy accident. Getting to catch her and feel the weight of her in my arms was shockingly comforting and strangely emotional for me. I felt so tender toward her that it caught me off guard, realizing in that moment that of all the women I have had under me, how few, if any, I let myself hold.
Even though I could tell that the proximity made her blush, it only confirmed to me that she had to be feeling this pull to me too. I swear her body even curled into mine for just a moment, although maybe that is wishful thinking. Then it was just plainfun to mess with her and show off a bit. Flexing for her was so juvenile, but watching her blush and flirting with her more just felt right.
She’s so fucking cute.
